


The Lost Years

by Lady_Sage



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, I feel like the writing gets worse and worse each chapter, Implied Sexual Content, Inner Dialogue, M/M, Reunions, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Two POVs, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-10-31 02:34:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10889880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Sage/pseuds/Lady_Sage
Summary: How would things have been different if it took longer for everyone to regain their memories after ending the Dark Hour? What if it had taken longer than just a month? What if years could've passed by? What if things weren't exactly as they had seemed to be? And what if I could actually write a decent summary?





	1. Doubled I

**Author's Note:**

> Those questions make it sound like it follows everyone during their time after defeating Nyx, but really it just follows Akihiko and (surprise) Shinjiro about five years after the events of the original game. It bounces back and forth between their two perspectives as they get used to having one another in their lives again.

The sky was turning into a mixture of pink and orange as the sun began to rise. There weren’t any other cars in sight for miles. He was the single driver on the road and he loved that sort of loneliness. It was peaceful. And after driving most of the night, it was a little less stressful not having to worry about anyone else.

 

The radio was on, but playing low. Background noise. Every time something news related came on, he switched stations. He watched enough news back in high school. Now he was about to graduate college.

 

_Damn. It’s incredible how time flies._

 

The cool outside air began to warm up a bit, so he rolled the window down. The heavy wind entered the car and swept through his short white hair. He took a deep breath and let it out.

 

_Feels nice._

 

He quickly realised he had closed his eyes, so he shot them back open. It wasn’t that he was tired, it just took him back to—Hell, he couldn’t help thinking about high school and the rooftop of Gekkoukan High. He used to love going up there at the end of the day just to feel the breeze. It was good when he went alone, but it was even better when he went with—

 

_Hmm. I wonder how the old dorm mates are doing. Mitsuru and the others…_

 

He had lost touch with everyone he shared the dorm with long ago. Once he went off to college he just found no point in keeping up with so many people he would probably never see again. Granted, he hadn’t been very close with any of them anyhow. Not even Mitsuru Kirijo, even though she was in his class. As for the others, well, they were all his Kohai, so he had never spent much time talking with them to begin with. But then there was—

 

He shook his head. He had to stop thinking so much about the past. In high school that had held him back; hindered him from growing. It was frustrating, though. While he was content with his life now, there were still a few things he wished he could go back and change. At the same time, he felt like he couldn’t even remember most of what happened in high school. He had really spent most of his time training since he was on the boxing team. Then if he wasn’t training he was studying. Not like he ever went out with anyone or made very many friends. But that was okay; that didn’t bother him. What bothered him was the nagging voice in the back of his mind trying to convince him that he was forgetting something important.

 

Soon enough, other cars started appearing on the road. Not very many, but enough where he had to really pay attention. He still had a pretty long way to go, too. Worse yet, his drowsiness was starting to get the best of him. So he stopped at the next convenience store he passed, picking up a small coffee and two protein shakes. Only took about five minutes before he was on the road again.

 

_Just a few more hours._

 

By now, the sun had fully risen. The sky was a pale blue colour and there wasn’t a cloud in sight.

 

He let out a soft sigh as he switched stations once again. And, of course, the station he switched to was also reporting some sort of bad news. When a certain word was spoken, though, he cringed and turned the radio off altogether.

 

_Apathy._

 

There was that nagging voice again. He rolled his eyes at it and kept driving. That was all he could do. So he drove, only slowing down when he saw someone on the side of the road ahead of him. A hitchhiker. No one else seemed to be interested in picking the stranger up, either. But he still slowed down, wanting to get a look at the guy. For some reason, that was just something he did when he saw people on the side of the road. A sort of weird habit.

 

The guy had dark brown hair. A little on the longer side. It was covering his face a bit, too, so he couldn’t get that good of a look at him. Didn’t help that he was also wearing a beanie that—

 

_Wait a second—_

 

He suddenly slammed on his breaks and pulled over. He climbed out of the car to look back at the hitchhiker.

 

_It can’t be…_

 

~~~~

 

He let out a heavy sigh as yet another car drove by him without so much as even slowing down. He dropped his arm, shaking his hand out. He didn’t think it was possible, but his thumb was actually starting to get sore.

 

 _This is stupid_.

 

He continued walking down the road. While it was aggravating that no one would stop for him, he also didn’t blame the drivers. Not like he looked like the safest guy, after all, what with his messy hair and beanie and oversized coat. But at least give a guy a chance, right?

 

This had been going on for months now. Him travelling just by hitchhiking. Most of the people he’d met so far had been nice. Then again, he wasn’t interested in conversation. All he cared about was getting to where he wanted to go. Only issue was that he didn’t have a certain place in mind for his destination. Instead, he had a certain person in mind. A person who could quite literally be just about anywhere.

 

_Guess I could just go back to the city and start there._

 

He let out another sigh. That probably was his easiest option, but he really had no desire to return to that city. Iwatodai. Tatsumi Port Island. He was over those places. He had grown away from those places.

 

Now he shuddered at the thought of how he used to spend all his time at that back alley. Hell, he was an idiot back then. Practically screwed himself over. He should’ve listened to—

 

Another car appeared down the road. So he began his little routine. He stopped, held out his arm, and stuck his thumb up. It was simple, but it still felt like it took everything in him to do it. Luckily, though, the car actually stopped. When the driver asked where he was headed, he only asked them to take him to the nearest rest stop. They seemed more than happy to oblige. But there was a downfall; they were talkers. And he really wasn’t interested in conversing with strangers.

 

They asked where he was going. How long he had been travelling for. What made him want to travel by hitchhiking. He kept his composure as he answered each question with as few words as he could manage. The driver wasn’t getting the hint, though. So they kept on talking. They asked why he was travelling alone. If he had any friends he was keeping in touch with. If he had any family who would be worried about him. And that was perfect. That was perfect because he was able to mention that he didn’t have a family. And that shut the driver right up.

 

_About frigging time._

 

Now he was left thinking about—Well, shit. He wasn’t even sure if any of the others had ever regained their memories. All those people he had fought beside back in high school. His dorm mates. His…friends? Hmm. He didn’t think he could consider himself to have been any of their friends. He was never close with any of his Kohai. And Kirijo was really only ever an acquaintance. A teammate. They were all just his teammates. Everyone… Except—

 

The driver took him out of his thoughts to let him know they had arrived at the shop. So he stepped out of the car and thanked them for the short ride. Then he headed into the convenience store. He had enough money to buy himself a couple waters. The weather was still on the cooler side, but it was definitely still hot enough at the same time where he needed something to help him cool down.

 

While he was posted up at the store, he overheard a conversation between the shopkeeper and another customer. They were talking about a topic all too familiar to him.

 

_Tch. Apathy Syndrome. What a joke._

 

He hadn’t heard much of the so-called illness since high school. Then again, he figured the rest of the world would’ve forgotten about it by now.

 

Soon enough, he was back to walking down the side of the road. He continued with his routine each time a car passed by. No one seemed to be interested in helping him out anymore. Then there was a good stretch where no cars were around. Now would’ve been the ideal time for him to take a break, but he had the urge to keep going; a nagging voice in the back of his mind telling him not to stop. After all, he had just taken a little break at the convenience store. So he didn’t need another break so soon.

 

Cars began passing by again. None of them stopped for him. None of them even slowed down.

 

_This is getting ridiculous._

 

This was the longest stretch he had gone without anyone stopping to help him out. And he had no idea how much longer he would have to keep walking before he would reach civilisation.

 

But then there was a car that slowed down. It passed him, and stopped abruptly not short after. The driver pulled over and climbed out of the car. The guy had a head of white hair he had only ever seen on one other person before. And he was looking at him with wide grey eyes.

 

_You gotta be shitting me…_

 


	2. Akihiko I

 “Aki?” the brunette spoke up first.

 

“Shinji…” he said, staying by his car. _Shit, it’s really him. He’s here. I can’t believe this._

 

“Yo. How ya doing?”

 

A look of confusion popped onto his face. “It’s been at least five years since we’ve last seen each other, and you just ask how I’m doing?”

 

“That seems like a reasonable question.”

 

“Tch.” _Such a Shinji response._ “What are you even doing out here?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “Hitchhiking.”

 

He gave an eye roll in response. “Get in.”

 

He didn’t have to tell Shinjiro twice. The brunette followed Akihiko’s lead and climbed into the car. Akihiko needed to take a moment to register the fact that Shinjiro was sitting beside him in his car. Shinjiro. His best friend. He stopped himself from looking over at him, focusing on the wheel gripped in his hands. _You’re here. This is incredible._

 

Once Akihiko was back on the road, it was easier for him to keep his focus on the task at hand. Driving. “So…where are you heading?”

 

“Nowhere in particular,” Shinjiro said. “You look exhausted, though.”

 

“I’ve been driving all night.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I had this out of town convention…type thing.” He shook his head. “It was for school. A sort of pre-graduation celebration. Except it was more work than play.”

 

“Graduation? You’re already graduating from college?”

 

“Yeah, it’s been that long.”

 

Shinjiro cleared his throat. “What did you go to school for?”

 

“Police work.”

 

Now a smile spread across his lips. “Figures.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Nothing. Just suits you.”

 

Akihiko felt the urge to blush at that comment. _The hell is wrong with me? It’s Shinji. Not like he means anything by it._ “What have you been doing with your life?”

 

“Uhm—” He stopped before he even really started.

 

He waited a moment for the other to continue. _He’s trying to think up a lie that sounds like it could be plausible._ He hated assuming that, but he knew his best friend well enough. Even if it had been five years. “Shinji?” he finally spoke up.

 

He jolted a little. “Right. Sorry. Uhm…I’ve just been doing a lot of travelling. That’s about it, though.”

 

“Travelling or hitchhiking?”

 

“What’s the difference?”

 

“Well, one is a lot more dangerous than the other.”

 

“Tch. I’m alive, ain’t I? So what does it matter?”

 

“Alive.” He nodded. “Yeah, you are alive.” He then shook his head. _There’s that nagging voice again. It needs to shut up._ “Well, I guess I really can’t control what you do and don’t do, right? Just like back in high school.”

 

“Right.” Another pause. “So where are you heading now?”

 

“Back to my apartment.”

 

“Living with anyone?”

 

“What? No. Of course not.”

 

“You say that like I’m crazy to think you’d have a girlfriend.”

 

He felt heat rushing to his cheeks again. “That much about me hasn’t changed since high school.” _I’m not interested in having a girlfriend. Or being in a relationship. Not unless—_

 

“Then would you mind if I crashed at your place for the night?”

 

Akihiko raised an eyebrow at him. “Just one night?”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t want to intrude—”

 

“Shinji,” he shook his head, “you could never intrude on anything. No matter how long it’s been, you are always welcome in my life.”

 

“Good to know.” He paused yet again. “How much longer?”

 

“Only about another hour.”

 

“All right.”

 

They then fell silent. Akihiko kept his eyes on the road in front of him. Though, he could still feel Shinjiro watching him. Just like he could feel his cheeks burning up from being watched. Those steel eyes on him were making it harder for him to focus. He wanted to stare back. He wanted to—

 

 _Stop. You’re being an idiot. Shinji would even say so himself… Shinji. The one who’s sitting right beside me. The one who didn’t fight with me when I told him to get in my car. He didn’t resist. For once, he didn’t try pulling or pushing away. Now he’s close enough to—I could just…reach out… No. Stop. Pull it together. C’mon, it’s just Shinji. Tch. Yeah._ Just _Shinji._

 

It didn’t take long for the silence to become overwhelming. Akihiko cleared his throat before turning the radio on. He switched it to a channel with music playing and left it at that. And when the music stopped and a news report came on, he switched it again. This happened twice more before Shinjiro finally just turned the radio off altogether.

 

“The hell you doing, Aki?”

 

“I don’t like listening to the news.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Just don’t.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

Akihiko could feel his jaw tensing as he felt those steel eyes watching him intently. He wasn’t sure if Shinjiro had ever focused so hard on him.

 

“Anything on your mind?” the brunette spoke up.

 

“What? No, I’m fine.”

 

“You know you can still talk to me, right?”

 

“You know you sound like a hypocrite, right?” He couldn’t stop himself before the words came out. _Shit. Well, that’s one way to get him to stop talking to me._

 

“Tch. Whatever.” He then slouched in his seat, turning away from the other.

 

Akihiko let out a soft sigh, gripping the wheel a little tighter. _Sorry, Shinji, I just… I can’t talk about the past. Not right now. Not yet._

 


	3. Shinjiro I

By the time they arrived at Akihiko’s apartment, it was just about noon. Shinjiro followed the white-haired young man—who proceeded to fall onto his couch, exhausted—through the front door. As for Shinjiro, he stood there and took it all in. Hell, he was with Akihiko. He was in his apartment. It was all real. _Son of a bitch…_

 

“Sorry, I almost forgot I wasn’t alone,” Akihiko spoke up. He got back to his feet. “C’mon, I’ll show you the guest room.” They moved down the short hallway to the second door on the right. “This is it. That first door is the bathroom and that last door on the left is my room.”

 

“Last door on the left, huh? Just like at the dorm.”

 

“Oh. Yeah…guess so.”

 

He winced a little at that indifferent reaction. _Damn it, I can’t tell if he remembers or not. And I don’t think this is a conversation I should wait on, but it may have to wait._

 

“I know you asked if you could just spend the night, but I want you to know that you’re welcome to stay as long as you like. As long as you need to. Until you get your own place or a job or…just until you get back on your feet.”

 

Now he narrowed his eyes. “Excuse me?”

 

“C’mon, Shinji, despite how much you’ve said so, I’m not an idiot. I mean, It’s pretty obvious as to why you’ve been hitchhiking around.”

 

 _Yeah, I’ve been looking for you. Trying to track you down. Ever since before I got my memories back, but even more so afterwards._ “Tch. You don’t know shit.” After all, Shinjiro could never bring himself to say any of that out loud.

 

“Sorry. Guess it’s wrong of me to make assumptions like that.”

 

“Yeah, this ain’t high school anymore.”

 

“I know. And usually I’m thankful for that.”

 

“Usually?”

 

“Yeah. There are times when I miss it, but not enough to want to go back or relive it or anything.”

 

“I see.” _Maybe he does remember. Shit, I still can’t tell. But I have to try to figure it out somehow._ “What do you miss about it?”

 

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t say there’s anything in particular that I miss. Just maybe the idea of it in general.” Now he chuckled. “I dunno.”

 

Shinjiro couldn’t help but smile when he heard Akihiko laugh. It was a laugh he hadn’t heard in years. A laugh that had gotten him through so much pain and trouble. A laugh he once ignored because he didn’t realise what it meant to him. Just how much it meant to him.

 

“Shinji?”

 

He came back to himself. “Huh?”

 

“Seemed to be thinking pretty hard there.”

 

“Oh, just…zoned out, I guess.”

 

“Ah. Well, I hope my inconsiderate comment won’t be sending you away.”

 

He scrunched his nose. “What are you talking about?”

 

“About you getting back on your feet…”

 

“Oh. No. Aki, if that comment had bothered me that much I would’ve already been out the door.”

 

“Good. Then stay as long as you like. I mean it.”

 

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” _Maybe this means we can make up for all the time we’ve lost._ “Why don’t you sleep,” Shinjiro then started, “and I’ll go food shopping? I can cook something for dinner.”

 

“What? You don’t have to do that.”

 

“It’s the least I could do for you picking me up and taking me with you and letting me stay here.”

 

“Shinji, c’mon, you don’t owe me anything. We’re friends. So you really don’t have to cook.”

 

“I want to.”

 

“You’re my guest, though. I should be cooking for you.”

 

“You can’t cook for shit, and you’ve been driving all night.”

 

“Hey, it’s been a few years. Maybe I can cook now.”

 

“I ain’t willing to take that chance.”

 

He laughed again. “Fair enough.”

 

With that, Akihiko made his way to his own bedroom. Shinjiro followed after him like a puppy dog. He felt like he couldn’t let the other out of his sight or else he might disappear on him. And that was the last thing he wanted. He wasn’t sure if Akihiko realised he was right there, though, because he started changing in front of him. He pulled off his shirt, and Shinjiro couldn’t help the blush that crept across his cheeks. _You sure as hell ain’t a kid anymore, Aki_. He then shook his head. _Shit. What is this? I know I’ve missed him, but—_

 

“Have anything in mind for what you’re gonna make?” Akihiko spoke up, acting as if everything about this scene was completely normal.

 

The brunette stumbled a bit over his own thoughts as he tried to regain his composure. “N-not really.”

 

“Can I make a request, then?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“I’ve been in the mood for stroganoff.”

 

“Really? You don’t want me to make you a special protein shake or some shit?”

 

Akihiko’s cheeks turned red. “Shut up. I don’t drink that stuff as much as I used to.”

 

“I saw two empty bottles of it in your car.”

 

“Shut up,” he said again.

 

He held back a grin. “Whatever. So long as you’ve realised it ain’t as good for you as you may have thought.”

 

“Okay. Think you could make stroganoff or not?”

 

“Heh. Yeah, I can do that.” He then headed towards the front door. “I’ll go out and buy everything, and you should sleep. I’ll wake you when it’s ready.”

 

“Fine.” He stood in the doorway to his bedroom for a moment, shuffling his weight from foot to foot. “And…th-thanks, Shinji.”

 

 _Don’t thank me just yet._ “No problem.”

 

Shinjiro watched him until he closed his bedroom door, disappearing behind it. The urge to blow off making food took him over. Instead, he just wanted to enter the other’s room and—He shook off the feeling and left for the grocery store.

 

After being gone for about an hour and a half, he returned to the apartment. He put everything down on the kitchen table and went to check on Akihiko. He wanted to make sure he was actually sleeping. When he saw that he was, he returned to the small kitchen and began cooking.

 

He still couldn’t believe he was in Akihiko’s apartment. He had spent so long now trying to track the bastard down, and then the bastard ended up picking him up on the side of the road. What were the chances? Shinjiro shook his head at his turn of luck. It took almost everything in him to keep cooking and not wake the other up early just so he could talk to him or listen to him talk or just watch him even. All he wanted to do now was make up for the time they had lost.

 

 _What has gotten into me? It’s only Akihiko. Tch. Yeah right._ Only _Akihiko. It’s_ Akihiko…

 

He sighed, stopping his movements. He put the knife down and dropped his head as he supported himself on the counter. Things were different now. It had been five years since they last saw each other, so of course things would be different. But it wasn’t just different because of the amount of time. It was different because he no longer saw Akihiko in the same way. Hell, he wasn’t that clumsy teenager anymore. Shinjiro would be willing to bet anything, though, that he was still just as hotheaded and stubborn. He chuckled under his breath. Yeah. There was no doubt in his mind that he was still very hotheaded and stubborn. Oh. And reckless.

 

His small smile then faded as he thought more about the past. The Dark Hour. Apathy Syndrome. The Lost. Tartarus. Everything he had spent so much time fighting for. Not as much time as the others, maybe, but still… Time wasted just to forget all about it once it was all over. Sure, he remembered now, but it wasn’t the same.

 

_I still don’t know if he remembers or not. I need to talk to him about everything tonight before this goes on any longer. Otherwise, things could turn out bad._

 

He shook his head again. He didn’t want to think about the bad; he wanted to think about the good. And right now the good was that he was cooking. Better yet, he was cooking in Akihiko’s kitchen. He was cooking for Akihiko. Who was sleeping in his bedroom right down the hall.

 

While Shinjiro wasn’t very familiar with the concept of perfection, he would definitely consider this to be perfect.


	4. Akihiko II

Akihiko awoke to a light scent in the air. His eyes fluttered open as he sniffed more at the scent. It was savory, but…

 

_Who’s here that could be cooking?_

 

Confusion swept over him momentarily, but then he recalled the situation all at once. His eyes snapped open and he was wide awake. He stumbled out of bed and made his way for the kitchen.

 

There he was. Standing in front of the stove, stirring…something. Stroganoff. That’s right. He had asked him to make stroganoff. That’s what he was smelling. Although, he didn’t care at the moment. He only cared about the fact that he was there. He was in his kitchen. Beanie and all.

 

“Shinji,” he breathed.

 

The other turned around at the sound of their name. “You’re up,” he said. Then his eyes narrowed a little. “You okay?”

 

Akihiko’s lip trembled a bit. “Y-you’re here.” _This is real._

 

“Uh…yeah.”

 

“I thought it was a dream.”

 

His voice was soft. Low. Shinjiro didn’t react, but Akihiko was certain he was at just as much of a loss as he was. A loss for words. A loss for actions. But Akihiko stepped up to him. He hesitated before wrapping his arms around the brunette’s waist in an embrace. Tight. Warm. Shinjiro didn’t hesitate to return the gesture as Akihiko buried his face in his chest.

 

Akihiko soon pulled away, regaining his composure. He looked the other up and down, wanting to do so much more than just hug him. _I don’t want you cooking for me. I want you to—I wanna touch—_ He wondered if Shinjiro maybe wanted the same. _Hell, this all still feels so unreal. I need proof that it’s happening; that you’re actually here in front of me._

 

“Y’know, you should really take your coat off,” he spoke up.

 

Clearly Shinjiro still favoured his oversized coats. And because of that, he couldn’t tell how much the other had changed or not. If he was slimmer or healthy or what; he didn’t know.

 

The brunette looked down at himself now. “Guess I could do that.” He unbuttoned the coat and draped it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs.

 

He looked…average. He wasn’t sickly-looking—not like he had been in high school—but he could still be healthier. All that walking around and hitchhiking probably did more harm than good. Either way, he wanted to wrap his arms back around the other. He wanted to hold onto him as tight as he could. Definitive proof that he was solid. That he wouldn’t slip away from him again.

 

“Aki?”

 

His gaze snapped back up to the other. “S-sorry. Lost my train of thought…”

 

He smiled. “You’re still an idiot.”

 

“Yeah? Well, you’re still a prick.”

 

Shinjiro turned his head away at that comment. Akihiko couldn’t tell if he had offended him or—Wait a second… _Is Shinji blushing?_

 

“The food is almost done,” he then said.

 

He swallowed hard. “Smells delicious. That’s actually what woke me up.”

 

“Then I hope it tastes as good as it smells.”

 

“Wouldn’t doubt it.”

 

They fell silent after that. Akihiko watched the brunette with his final preparations for the meal. He was practically entranced by his movements. _I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so calm. He looks at peace with himself for once._ He also watched him out of fear that if he were to turn away, the other would disappear again.

 

“It’s ready,” he soon said. He put together two dishes and set them down at the table. They both sat down, still quiet. “What are you waiting for? Dig in.”

 

Akihiko smiled before doing as he was told. They ate in silence, enjoying the mean and each other’s company. This was the first time Akihiko hadn’t eaten alone since he moved into the apartment. And he had been living in the apartment for almost two years now. He rarely invited people over, and if he did it was only ever a study group. So this was different. This was better. This was Shinjiro.

 

_This is what I want. Me and Shinji. Just like how it used to be. Except better._

 

But there was that nagging voice again. It was trying to tell him that something was still off. That he was still forgetting something.

 

_C’mon, leave it alone. Just this once. Let me enjoy this. Please. I don’t know how long Shinji will stay and I’m sure as hell not wasting anymore time._

 

That shut the voice up. And Akihiko was grateful he could enjoy the rest of the meal in peace. Though, he knew he couldn’t ignore that voice forever. He would have to face it eventually.

 

It was nearing eight o’clock by the time the two reunited friends had finished eating and found themselves seated on the futon. When they had finished, Akihiko cleaned up. He argued that since Shinjiro cooked, it was only fair for him to do the cleaning. But since the brunette didn’t want to just sit around, he ended up making coffee. Now they were enjoying that coffee on the futon.

 

Akihiko sipped at his coffee, simply watching the other. He seemed to be concentrating on something. “You seem to be thinking pretty hard there,” he spoke up. “Something on your mind?”

 

“Actually…” He leaned back a bit to put his cup down on the end table behind him. “I’ve sorta been avoiding this question like the plague almost since the moment I got in your car.” He paused. Akihiko could only assume he was trying to figure out how to properly word his question. Then the brunette let out a heavy sigh, his gaze dropping. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

 

Akihiko raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you mean?”

 

“C’mon, you know exactly what I’m referring to.”

 

“Tch.” He knew the past was bound to catch up to him, he just didn’t think it would’ve happened so soon. _Guess it’s now or never._ He followed suit and put his cup down on the table in front of the futon. “I remember you being involved in some kind of gang violence and getting shot. That’s basically it, though. You had been admitted to the hospital and that seemed like the end of it. I mean, I never got any sort of notice for when you were released or even for when you had woken up. You were pretty much just…gone. I don’t know what happened or why you never came back to me or what, but…I dunno.” Now he shrugged his shoulders. “I guess we both just got caught up in other things and went our own ways.”

 

“Seems pretty shitty if you ask me.”

 

“Not like it was my fault.”

 

“I didn’t say it was.” He paused. “That’s all you remember?”

 

“I guess. Why?”

 

“What about Kirijo and the others?”

 

“What about them?”

 

“Don’t you talk to them still?”

 

“Why would I? Not like I was ever good friends with her or our Kohai.”

 

Shinjiro stilled at this. And there was almost what seemed like a flash of fear in his eyes. Maybe not fear, but— “Oh, uhm, guess I was mistaken, then,” he spoke up at last.

 

Akihiko tilted his head a bit. “You’re keeping something from me.”

 

“No I’m not.”

 

“I know it’s been a few years, Shinji, but I still know you better than that. So I know you’re hiding something.”

 

“I just…” He sighed. “You don’t remember.”

 

“Huh?” _What the hell is he referring to? I mean, he couldn’t be talking about… No, that’s not possible._ He swallowed hard. “Remember what?”

 

“What we did during high school? All that bullshit we went through. You and me and Kirijo, plus all those kids.” He paused. “What about Ken Amada? Do you remember him, at least?”

 

“Wasn’t he some elementary school kid?”

 

“Damn it. No, Aki, he wasn’t just some elementary school kid. He was a pretty significant part of our lives. So was Kirijo and so were our Kohai who we shared the dorm with.”

 

Akihiko squeezed his eyes shut. _Shut up. Just shut up._ He didn’t want this to be happening. Not right now. He knew exactly where this conversation was going and he wasn’t ready for it. Conversation? More like an argument at this point. He always hated fighting with Shinjiro, too. But this time he wouldn’t be able to avoid it. This time neither of them would have the option to walk away. This time they had to face each other. He had to face the past. The truth.

 

Maybe he could play dumb for a while longer, though. Maybe Shinjiro would just give it up rather than pursuing it. Maybe…

 

Only one way to find.

 

“What the hell are you going on about?”


	5. Shinjiro II

Shinjiro sat patiently as he listened to Akihiko explain to him what he remembered. So far, it seemed he only remembered him getting shot. He didn’t say anything about why except gang violence. _Tch. It was always gang violence. Or an illness._ Either way, he stayed put and just waited. Then when the other finished speaking, he clenched his jaw. _No. That can’t be it. That can’t be all you remember._

 

“Seems pretty shitty if you ask me,” he spoke up.

 

“Not like it was my fault.”

 

“I didn’t say it was.” He sighed. “That’s all you remember?”

 

“I guess. Why?”

 

“What about Kirijo and the others?”

 

“What about them?”

 

“Don’t you talk to them still?”

 

“Why would I? Not like I was ever good friends with her or our Kohai.”

 

Shinjiro froze, swallowing hard. _He doesn’t remember. He really doesn’t remember. I mean, there’s no way he would just brush them off. Shit. What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to help him remember? Damn it. This ain’t fair._ “Oh, uhm, guess I was mistaken, then,” he spoke up at last.

 

Akihiko tilted his head a bit. “You’re keeping something from me.”

 

“No I’m not.”

 

“I know it’s been a few years, Shinji, but I still know you better than that. So I know you’re hiding something.”

 

“I just…” He sighed. _No backing out now._ “You don’t remember.”

 

“Huh? Remember what?”

 

“What we did during high school. All that bullshit we went through. You and me and Kirijo, plus all those kids.” He paused, trying to keep his composure. “What about Ken Amada? Do you remember him, at least?”

 

“Wasn’t he some elementary school kid?”

 

“Damn it. No, Aki, he wasn’t just some elementary school kid. He was a pretty significant part of our lives. So was Kirijo and so were our Kohai who we shared the dorm with.”

 

The other closed his eyes. “What the hell are you going on about?”

 

“The Dark Hour,” he blurted out, jumping to his feet. “That extra hour between one day and the next. Only us and a few others remained aware of it. And we fought Shadows in Tartarus with those things called Personas. Mine was Castor and yours was Caesar. And it wasn’t just some random act of gang violence that got me shot; it was Takaya who shot me. Y’know, the leader of the group Strega. The group that tried stopping us in our tracks. Then you and all the others fought against Nyx—the maternal being—and saved the frigging world. I wasn’t there physically, but I was there in spirit, and shit, you guys put up one hell of a fight. I mean, it was seriously a damn good one. And then there was Makoto Yuki. Y’know, the one who sacrificed himself in the end?” He paused, calming himself down. “C’mon, you seriously don’t remember any of it?”

 

Akihiko’s gaze had fallen to the floor by this point. He was very still and very silent. It was making Shinjiro agitated and uncomfortable. Maybe he shouldn’t have thrown the information at him all at once. Maybe he should’ve reminded him bit by bit. It was too late now, though.

 

_Say something. Please. Anything at all._

 

“I thought—I thought it had all been some crazy dream,” Akihiko spoke up, his voice low again. “Some sort of very realistic and very messed up dream. Or…or maybe I just wanted to make myself believe that. I dunno… I haven’t spoken with any of the others in years, so I’ve never been able to confirm the reality of it.” He looked back up at Shinjiro. “When did you remember?”

 

“Not long after I was released from the hospital,” he said. “At first I thought it could’ve been amnesia. After all, not like the doctors would’ve been able to detect it since none of them would’ve known about all that bullshit in the first place. Aside from the Apathy Syndrome cases, of course, but I wouldn’t even give them credit for that.” He smiled at the small chuckle that came from between Akihiko’s lips. _Okay, that has to be somewhat of a good sign._ “Either way, I realised it hadn’t been amnesia when I passed Takeba and Iori on the streets one day. Neither of them said anything to me, which was odd. I mean, last they had seen me I had been shot, so I figured they would’ve been all over me. Y’know, making sure I was okay and asking how I was doing. Tch.” He shook his head, holding back an eye roll. “So I came to the conclusion then that we all just lost our memories when the Dark Hour ended permanently. By the time I made the realisation, though, you were already long gone.” He cleared his throat. _C’mon, just tell him. Might as well_. “I’ve been trying to track you down ever since.”

 

“All this time…you’ve been looking for me?”

 

He refused to make eye contact with the other now. _There, I said it._ “Y-yeah. That’s why I’ve been travelling. Why I’ve been hitchhiking.”

 

“Why didn’t you—? I mean, you could’ve asked—” He shook his head out of disbelief. “Shinji…” He took a deep breath, and it came out a bit shaky. “Shinji.”

 

That was when the brunette lifted his gaze towards Akihiko. He was expecting him to bring up the others. To say that they had to get in touch with them as soon as possible to find out if they had regained their memories as well. Shinjiro wasn’t looking forward to that, though. _I don’t want the others to be a part of this. I want it to be just you and me. I don’t care how selfish it sounds; I want you to myself. Hell, I deserve to be selfish._

 

Except Akihiko didn’t say anything. There was a peculiar look in his eyes, though. A look he had never witnessed before. It sent chills down Shinjiro’s spine. Next thing he knew, their foreheads were connected. _Aki…_ He tried saying the name aloud, but couldn’t find his voice. He was so close, though. All he had to do was lean in a little more and—

 

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” Akihiko spoke up, his voice no more than a whisper.

 

Shinjiro smiled, unable to help the light blush that covered his cheeks. _Damn it. Why does that keep happening? Aki’s the only one who’s ever been able to do that to me._ He was the only one, but he desperately hoped the other hadn’t noticed any of the incidents so far. He didn’t need him getting cockier than he probably already was. “Actually, I think I have a pretty good idea,” he then said.

 

He returned the smile, moving away. And Shinjiro could feel himself trying not to look disappointed. Trying not to chase after him. Pull him closer again.

 

“I don’t know about you,” Akihiko began, “but I’m still pretty tired.”

 

“Uh, yeah, guess I could sleep some myself.”

 

With that, the two of them bid goodnight and retired to their separate bedrooms. Shinjiro stood and watched Akihiko as he hesitated outside his door. His hand was hovering over the knob. _What are you thinking, Aki? C’mon, look at me. Let me know I’m not alone in what I’ve been feeling. Please…_ But then Akihiko opened his door and stepped into his bedroom. Shinjiro let out a heavy sigh, turning away from the other. _Should’ve known it would’ve been too good to be true._

 

So he stood and watched as Akihiko entered his own bedroom. Once the door closed, he let out a soft sigh. _C’mon, pull it together_. Shinjiro then stepped into the room he had been given. _You’re just overthinking things._ He shook off the strange feeling, call it a night.


	6. Akihiko III

It took Akihiko a moment for Shinjiro’s explanation to sink in. To process. He almost couldn’t believe it. He wanted to, though. Hell, he wanted nothing more than to believe it. “All this time…you’ve been looking for me?” he spoke up.

 

“Y-yeah. That’s why I’ve been travelling. Why I’ve been hitchhiking.”

 

“Why didn’t you—? I mean, you could’ve asked—” He shook his head, as if doing that would help his thoughts fall into place. “Shinji…” He took a deep breath, and it came out a bit shaky. “Shinji.”

 

That was when the brunette finally looked back up at him. And everything he wanted to say vanished. He was way too caught up in the fact that Shinjiro had been spending all his time trying to find him. He felt happy and guilty all at once. _Damn it, I should’ve been doing the same. I should’ve been trying to find you, too_.

 

Or maybe it was okay that he didn’t do the same. After all, if they had both spent their time travelling around looking for each other, they probably never would’ve found each other. So Akihiko would accept how things played out. And once he did, he leaned closer and closer to Shinjiro until their foreheads were touching.

 

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” he finally spoke up, his voice no more than a whisper.

 

Shinjiro smiled, and this time Akihiko knew he was blushing. “Actually, I think I have a pretty good idea,” he said.

 

He returned the smile, moving away from him as he realised this closeness was probably a bit strange. It was familiar, though. And as soon as he pulled away, he only wanted to move closer again.

 

“I don’t know about you,” Akihiko began, “but I’m still pretty tired.”

 

“Uh, yeah, guess I could sleep some myself.”

 

With that, the two of them bid goodnight and retired to their separate bedrooms. Akihiko stood outside his door, hesitating before turning the knob. _I should say something to him. Do something_. Hmm. He took a deep breath, entering his room without so much as even a glance over his shoulder.

 

Once Akihiko shut the door behind him, he leaned against it. Damn it. He should’ve said something. Maybe he still could. He stood up straight and cracked his door open, peaking outside. Shinjiro had already gone into the guest room. He let out a soft sigh as he quietly reclosed the door. He then shook his head before getting ready for bed.

 

It ended up being a restless night. Most of it was spent tossing and turning. He was still exhausted from the drive, but sleep evaded him. When he finally decided to just get up for the day, it was barely seven o’clock in the morning. He rolled out of bed, rubbing his tired eyes. He then got to his feet, dragging them as he exited his room and made his way towards the kitchen. And when he saw the brunette standing at the counter with a cup of coffee in his hands, he suddenly felt wide awake.

 

“Shinji? What are you doing up?”

 

“Couldn’t sleep,” he said once he finished taking a sip. “Looks like you couldn’t either.” Akihiko only shook his head in response. “Here.” Shinjiro grabbed another mug and poured coffee into it. “I’m sure you could use it.”

 

Akihiko took the mug that was being offered to him. “Thanks.”

 

“Do you have anything going on today?”

 

“No, I don’t have another class until tomorrow.”

 

He nodded. “Maybe we could…talk a bit more about everything, then.”

 

He held back an exasperated sigh. _I don’t wanna talk. I don’t need to. And since when do you even like talking? Tch._ He swallowed hard. “Maybe.”

 

“Unless you don’t want to.”

 

He took a sip of his coffee. Shinjiro had always been so good at reading him, even though Akihiko could never read the other in return. Even now, all these years later, the brunette could still see right through him. It wasn’t fair.

 

“How did you survive?” he then said. “I guess that’s what I want to know most.”

 

“Honestly, Aki, I ain’t even sure.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe once you guys got rid of the Dark Hour permanently, everything that ever happened during it got reversed somehow.”

 

“But then Mitsuru’s father should be alive again, too. Along with Ikutsuki and Amada’s mother and—”

 

“I don’t know, Aki.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “It was just a theory.” He sighed. “Maybe since I didn’t actually die during the Dark Hour it was different for me. Or—I have no idea. All I know is that I’m here. I’m alive.”

 

Akihiko took another sip. “Guess that’s really all that matters. Just thought Mitsuru and the others would want some sort of explanation.”

 

“Kirijo? You—You’re gonna get in touch with them?”

 

“Figured I should.”

 

“R-right.” He paused. “Uhm. Well, if that’s all you wanted to know, maybe I’ll just take the day to look for a job something.”

 

“Huh? No, you should take some time to relax.”

 

“I’ve been relaxing for too long now.”

 

“I wouldn’t call hitchhiking a relaxation method.” Shinjiro chuckled a bit at this. Akihiko couldn’t help but smile at the sound. _It’s so nice to hear you laugh_. “Either way, you don’t have to worry about looking for a job yet.”

 

“I can’t live off you either.”

 

“Don’t argue with me, Shinji. If anything, I’ve grown way more stubborn than I used to be.”

 

“Tch. Wish I could be surprised by that, but I’m not.”

 

“Good. So you can help out around the apartment, and once I’ve graduated we’ll go from there.”

 

“When do you graduate?”

 

“At the end of the month.”

 

Shinjiro nodded his head again. “And what exactly do you mean when you say we’ll go from there?”

 

“I mean, like…we’ll find you a job. Maybe get a bigger apartment with a better kitchen.” _Shit, I’m making it sound like we’re in some sort of relationship. This probably sounds strange and stupid to him_. Y’know, get settled.” _And that didn’t help at all_.

 

“What about you? Don’t you need a job?”

 

“I already have an internship. I’ve been working with this station for a little over a year now, so—”

 

“So, you’re pretty much all set. Tch. Must be nice.” Then Shinjiro grinned and Akihiko’s heart nearly came to a stop. “Though, can’t complain about the fact that you wanna keep me around.”

 

“Of course,” he said, keeping his composure. “I already told you, Shinji, you’ll always be welcome in my life. No matter what.”

 

The brunette shook his head, clearing his throat. “C’mon, stop being such sap.”

 

Akihiko only smiled in response. There was nothing he needed to say because, while he couldn’t always read Shinjiro, he could still see him. And he didn’t fail to notice the blush that had spread across the other’s cheeks. So he just smiled to himself.

 

He could get used to this.


	7. Shinjiro III

A good few days passed by, and Akihiko and Shinjiro went on with their lives as if they had been living together the entire time. Shinjiro would wake up early and make coffee for the two of them. Akihiko would then have a cup at the apartment, and take one to-go when he went to class. It quickly became routine.

 

It was normal. Comfortable. Though, there was still a lot left to talk about. Conversations Shinjiro wanted to have and get over with, but Akihiko seemed to be trying to avoid with all his might. What the brunette couldn’t understand was why. What could the other be so worried about? He never used to be one to avoid shit like this. And he couldn’t figure out what had changed. Well, a lot had changed, but—

 

That was another thing that pissed him off. He used to be so good at reading Akihiko and being able to figure out what was on his mind, and now it was like he was a blank slate. It was frustrating. But Shinjiro could only imagine that was exactly how Akihiko had felt about him all throughout high school.

 

It was a late Saturday night when Shinjiro decided to finally bring up the topic again. The topic of the past. He took a deep breath, trying to clear his nerves. _Damn it, just relax. This ain’t that big a deal._

 

“Hey, uh, could we talk?” he spoke up.

 

Akihiko looked up at him, a curious expression across his face. “Talk about what?”

 

“I guess there’s just something that’s been bothering me.”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

“Well…” He swallowed hard. “You said that once I was hospitalised, you basically lost track of how I was doing. You didn’t know when I had woken up or when I had been released.”

 

He rolled his eyes before he could continue. “Shinji, what is with you? Why do you keep bringing up what happened back in high school? It’s over now.”

 

“All I want to know is why you never tried checking up on me. You didn’t have to try to find me, but why didn’t you at least try to find out if I had survived or not? That’s what I don’t understand. I was supposed to be your best friend, yet you didn’t even know I was still alive until you found me on the side of the road.” _So much for remaining calm for this conversation. Tch. Whatever._ “I’m sorry, but that’s pretty fucked up.”

 

Akihiko fell silent. He tilted his head, his jaw clenched. “Well, why didn’t you return to the city to try to find me? Ask Kurosawa-san or someone? Or—”

 

“Or what? Hire a private investigator with all the money I had waiting for me when I was released from the hospital?” He shook his head. “Shit ain’t that simple.”

 

“Exactly.” He lifted his gaze to meet the other’s. “I was trying to get away from the past. To think about the future and get into the habit of living a normal life.”

 

“Losing your memories wasn’t enough?”

 

“That’s not fair. I didn’t have a choice in that matter; it was an automatic repercussion of ending the Dark Hour. So you can’t hold that against me.”

 

“I ain’t trying to hold it against you. I just…” He sighed, trailing off. _Damn it, why can’t I ever say the right thing to you? It always sounds so good in my head, but then comes out all fucked up_. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”

 

“Hmm.” Akihiko paused. “I was scared of knowing the answer,” he then said.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I was scared,” he said again. “Terrified. Afraid that I would go to the hospital and ask about you and that they would tell me you were—that you were gone. That was the last thing I wanted to hear. So I decided I’d be better off never knowing. I’d be better off letting myself believe that you could be out there living your life. A normal, happy life. But I didn’t want to live knowing you could’ve been dead.”

 

Now Shinjiro was really at a loss for words. He hadn’t been expecting that to be Akihiko’s reason. He felt almost…guilty, but at the same time he found himself wanting to smile. “Aki—”

 

“It doesn’t matter now. You’re alive, and I think we’ve both made some mistakes since high school regarding each other.” He rose to his feet. “On that note, I’m turning in.” And he made his way for his bedroom.

 

The brunette stayed put, despite how much he wanted to go after the other. It was what he wanted, but Akihiko wanted to be alone. Or so he thought.

 

“Shinji,” his voice them came from behind.

 

His breath caught in his throat. There was a certain tone to Akihiko’s voice. It was low. Hoarse. He was trying to get his attention. And he sure as hell got it. Shinjiro faced him, taking only a few long strides before he was standing in front of the other. Akihiko’s lips formed his name again, except no sound came out this time. That was when Shinjiro slid a hand to the back of the other’s neck and leaned closer. Their foreheads and noses were touching, but nothing more.

 

They remained just like that for what felt like hours. And when the brunette finally forced himself away, he ghosted his lips over Akihiko’s forehead. He then stepped away entirely from the other. “See you in the morning, moron.”

 

A faint tint of red covered his cheeks as he smiled sheepishly. “Y-yeah. G’night. See you in the morning.”

 

Shinjiro watched Akihiko walk away before retiring to his own room for the night. Except he didn’t sleep. Instead, he lay on his bed just staring at the ceiling through the dark. He felt light. Like he was flying.

 

It was nearing four o’clock in the morning when he heard noises coming from across the hall. He slipped out of bed and out of his room, making his way to Akihiko’s. He knocked on the door before opening it.

 

“Aki? Everything okay?” He poked his head inside and found himself taken aback when he saw a young woman sitting on Akihiko’s bed. “Uhm—”

 

“Oh,” she said. “Hi.” She smiled anxiously.

 

His brow furrowed. And his mouth kept forming words, but nothing was coming out. _The hell is going on? This ain’t right._

 

“Shinji,” Akihiko then said. He turned to face him. The other’s eyes were wide. Before he said anything else, though, he stepped into his room and handed the stranger a glass of water. “Just give me a second.” With that, he guided Shinjiro out of the room and closed the door. “What are you doing up?”

 

“Who the hell—?”

 

“It’s not what it looks like.”

 

“Who is she?” _Shit, why are you getting so defencive? Just relax already_. He shook his head. “Is this like a—?”

 

“No. She’s a friend. We’re in the same class and interning at the same station. We’re set to be partners once we’re official.”

 

“That doesn’t explain why she’s here at four o’clock in the morning.”

 

“It’s kind of a long story.”

 

He took a deep breath, but it came out a lot shakier than he had wanted it to. “Give me the short version, then.”

 

“Right now?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“C’mon, what does it matter?”

 

“It matters because I’m gonna be under the impression you’re sleeping with this girl until I get a proper explanation.”

 

“I’m not sleeping with her,” he said through gritted teeth. “Even if I was, what would it matter to you?”

 

Shinjiro turned his head away at this inquisition. _He’s right. What does it matter? Ain’t like you’re sleeping with him. So why would it matter if he was sleeping with some other chick?_ He swallowed hard. “Whatever.” And he turned away from him to return to his room.

 

“Please don’t be like that.”

 

He then slammed the door his Akihiko’s face without another word. _C’mon, stop being an idiot and just get over it. Ain’t nothing to be jealous about. Not like there was ever a relationship._ He let out a heavy sigh. There was never a relationship… So why did he feel like he had just been rejected?


	8. Akihiko IV

It was 3:48am when Akihiko was awoken by his phone buzzing on his bedside table. He blindly grabbed at it, answering it once he finally had a hold on it.

 

“Hello?” he said, still half asleep.

 

“Aki? I’m so sorry to wake you, but I’m outside your place,” a girl’s voice said from the other line.

 

He shot up straight. “Hikaru? I’ll be right there to let you in.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

With that, he hung up. He then jumped out of his bed and quietly snuck out of his room. He tip-toed to the front door, unlocking it and opening it up for the young woman who had been on the phone.

 

“I spotted the guy standing outside my apartment building,” she greeted him. “I never even made it inside.”

 

“Come on in.” He gestured into the apartment, and she entered. He closed the door and locked. “Just keep in mind that I have a roommate now. So be quiet. You can go make yourself comfortable, though, and I’ll grab you a glass of water.”

 

She smiled sheepishly. “I have no idea what I would do without you.” She then made her way for his bedroom.

 

Akihiko let out a heavy sigh before moving into the kitchen. He grabbed a small glass from his cabinet and filled it with cold water. As he made his way down the hall, though, he noticed Shinjiro standing outside his open door. His eyes widened.

 

“Shinji?” he said. The other turned to face him, looking— _Are you confused? Hurt? Maybe you’re just angry. Shit._ He stepped into his room and handed Hikaru the glass of water. “Just give me second.” She nodded. He then guided the other out of the room and closed the door behind them. “What are you doing up?”

 

“Who the hell—?”

 

“It’s not what it looks like.” _Please don’t get the wrong impression_.

 

“Who is she?” He shook his head. “Is this like a—”

 

“No. She’s a friend. We’re in the same class and interning at the same station. We’re set to be partners once we’re official.”

 

“That doesn’t explain why she’s here at four o’clock in the morning.”

 

“It’s kind of a long story.” _And it’s way too late to get into right now_.

 

He took a deep, shaky breath. “Give me the short version, then.”

 

He froze for a short moment. _You can’t be serious. I mean, it’s that important to you?_ “Right now?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“C’mon, what does it matter?”

 

“It matters because I’m gonna be under the impression you’re sleeping with this girl until I get a proper explanation.”

 

He clenched his jaw at this. _Stop being so ridiculous and just let this go for the night_. “I’m not sleeping with her. Even if I was, what would it matter to you?”

 

Shinjiro turned his head away. _Shit. No. Please don’t shut down on me. Don’t push me away. Don’t pull yourself away._ The brunette swallowed hard. “Whatever.” And he turned away from him.

 

“Please don’t be like that.”

 

Instead of getting a response, he got the other’s door slammed in his face. He jolted a bit, but letting out a heavy sigh. _Great…_ He then reentered his own bedroom.

 

“Is that the guy you’ve told me about?” Hikaru said once the door was closed.

 

“Yeah, that’s him.”

 

“I’m sorry. Did I totally just fuck things up?”

 

He shook his head. “I’ll deal with it later. Right now we need to figure out what you’re gonna do. I mean, you need to report this guy.”

 

“I can’t. I have no info on him.”

 

“You’re the school’s top detective. How can you not have anything on him?”

 

“He’s an elusive son of a bitch. I mean, I don’t even know what he looks like. Every time I’ve seen him has been at night or just in a dark area in general. Plus, he always has that damn hood up.” She fell back on the bed. “This bastard may quite literally be the death of me.”

 

“You still have to report him. Whether you have info on him or not, you still have valid incidents of stalking and threats. That’s enough to go off.”

 

“I know. I just wish I could figure this out on my own.”

 

“No. It’s gotten to be too dangerous. It wouldn’t even be worth it.”

 

She sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

“What were you even doing out so late?”

 

“Last minute study session.”

 

“Ah. Well, you should get some sleep.”

 

“And you should talk to your friend.”

 

“I can’t. He’s way too pissed.”

 

“Because he’s jealous.”

 

Akihiko froze. “Excuse me?”

 

“Trust me, I know what jealousy looks like. When he saw me in here, the expression on his face didn’t tell me that he was mad at being woken up. It told me that he was dejected over the fact that you had some strange girl sitting on your bed.”

 

“I’m sorry, but you couldn’t be more wrong.”

 

“You do know that on top of being a detective, I am also a great interrogator, right?” She grinned. “He’s definitely jealous. Besides, don’t you like him? So wouldn’t you want him to be jealous?”

 

“Not really…” He then paused, shaking his head. “Whoa, whoa, wait… The hell do you mean I like him?”

 

Now she laughed. “Wow, talk about being oblivious to your own feelings.”

 

“Tch.” His eyes narrowed. “Shut up and go to bed.” He then exited the bedroom. And he paused again before deciding to step up to the door across the hall. He knocked on it a couple times. “Shinji? You still awake?” He waited for a response that never came. “I’m sorry, Shinji.” Still nothing. _Please, just talk to me. Let me in_. “Okay. You’re mad. I get it. If you change your mind, though, and decide you want to talk, I’ll be on the futon.”

 

With that, he made his way down the hall. He grabbed an extra blanket and pillow before getting comfortable on the futon. He kept glancing back in hopes that he would see the brunette standing at the end of the hall one of those times. He was alone, though. So he let out a heavy sigh and forced himself to go to sleep.

 

Hopefully things would be better by the morning.


	9. Shinjiro IV

By the time Shinjiro forced himself out of bed, it was almost nine o’clock in the morning. He grumbled under his breath. After what had gone down early that morning, he hadn’t been able to sleep well. Now he was just looking forward to making a cup of coffee and getting out of the apartment for a good few hours.

 

He stumbled out of his bedroom and down the hallway. When he reached the kitchen, though, he was greeted with an unwanted guest.

 

The stranger smiled at him. “Good morning.”

 

He held back a sneer as he moved towards the counter. He grabbed a mug and poured the already-brewed coffee into it.

 

“We never got the chance to formally introduce ourselves,” she went on. “My name is Hikaru.”

 

He didn’t respond to her. He still didn’t even look at her. After all, he wasn’t interested in introducing himself.

 

“I see you’re not the very talkative type. Well, that’s okay. I already know your name is Shinjiro. Aki talks about you a lot.”

 

He couldn’t help but perk up a bit at that, smiling behind his mug. He quickly shook it off, though.

 

“Speaking of which, he went out for a run.”

 

She paused. He assumed she was waiting for him to say something back, but he wasn’t planning on giving her the satisfaction. _You are acting so immature. This ain’t fair to Aki. Or her, for that matter. You don’t even know the full story._ He scoffed at himself.

 

“Uhm, I apologise for last night. Or early this morning, I guess I should say. I hope you didn’t get the wrong idea, but in case you did, I thought you should know Aki slept out here on the futon. Usually he would sleep in the guestroom, but since you occupy that room now—”

 

“Trying to make me feel bad?” he finally spoke up, turning to face her.

 

“Oh, so you do have a voice?”

 

“Tch.”

 

“But no, I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know we didn’t sleep in the same bed. Let alone, the same room. Better yet, there’s nothing going on between me and Aki.” She chuckled a bit. “We actually couldn’t even stand each other when we first met. So for this final test last year, our sensei paired us up so we could learn to be civil with one another. Basically, they said that if we could learn to get along with each other, we’d be able to get along with anyone. That’s how much we disliked each other.” She shook her head. “Either way, we ended up being the only students in the class to ace the test. Then we ended up getting an internship at the same police station. They wanted to separate us once we became official, but we told them we would only be partners with each other. They agreed with our conditions after we were put on a case that ended with both of us almost dying. I took a bullet for him, and then if it hadn’t been for him I never would’ve made it to safety. So we pretty much owe each other our lives.”

 

“Why the hell are you telling me all this? I really don’t give a shit.”

 

“Sorry. My point is just that there’s nothing romantic between me and Aki.”

 

“Whatever. Doesn’t make a difference to me.”

 

Her eyes widened a bit, out of both shock and amusement. “Both of you are really bad at admitting your feelings, huh?”

 

“Excuse me? Don’t try to act like you know me as well as you know Aki.” He shook his head. “You don’t.”

 

“I’m only trying to help.”

 

“Just shut up already.”

 

“But—”

 

“If you want to help, then stop talking. You’re giving me a frigging headache.”

 

She swallowed hard. “Aki cares about you. Don’t brush him off.”

 

“Why are you even still here?”

 

“Because I told her she could stay,” Akihiko said from the doorway before slamming it closed. “The hell is your issue?”

 

Shinjiro turned his head away just as he had done before. _Damn it, think before you fucking speak, moron_. “I’m gonna go out for a while. Give you two some alone time.”

 

“For the last time, Shinji, it’s not like that.”

 

“Whatever. Not like I give a shit.”

 

“Maybe if you did care it would make a difference, because I’m really sick of you always pretending not to.”

 

He couldn’t help but chuckle at this. “Don’t be such a hypocrite.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Wow, okay,” Hikaru then spoke up.  “Maybe I should go.”

 

“No,” Akihiko said. “You can stay.” He looked back at the brunette. “He already said he was leaving.”

 

Shinjiro swallowed hard, clenching his jaw. “Fine.”

 

With that, he took his leave. He took a deep breath as the door shut behind him. Then he waited for a moment. Waited for Akihiko to follow after him like he always used. Waited for him to change his mind and stop him from going anywhere. He waited for his hand on his shoulder. For his touch. He waited…

 

Finally, he shook his head and left the apartment complex. He had no idea where he was gonna go; it was still pretty early. He just had to get out of the area, though. So at this point, he’d be happy with just about anywhere.

 

Soon enough, he found himself at a small café. This would do for now. He ordered a cup of coffee before taking a seat. He checked his watch to see that it was only a little after ten o’clock. He let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair. Hell, he felt like such an idiot. Of course Akihiko wasn’t going to come after him. They weren’t kids anymore and this wasn’t high school anymore. Akihiko knew better by now. Shinjiro would have to accept that. He couldn’t keep throwing tantrums and walking away and expect things to just get better on their own. _Damn it, when did I get so immature? Aki doesn’t deserve this; he doesn’t need to put up with this bullshit. And I have no right to put him through it. Guess he always was the better friend, though_. He scoffed at himself. Yeah. There was no denying that things were different now. So that meant it was time for Shinjiro to change. To make an effort. To not be so temperamental. That behaviour wouldn’t cut it anymore.

 

Right now, though, he would sit and drink his coffee. Then later he would sit and drink a few beers. Or take a couple shots. And the latter sounded much better at this moment in time.

 

So Shinjiro worked on finishing his coffee. And after having a few more cups, he left the café. He wandered the city aimlessly until the sun began to set. Then he found his way to the nearest bar. He started with a beer. But that’s exactly what it was—

 

A start.


	10. Akihiko V

1:18am.

 

Akihiko was pacing the apartment. He hadn’t heard from Shinjiro since he stormed out, and he had now been gone all day. _Damn it, I should’ve gone after him. Or I at least should’ve gone looking for him hours ago._ He stopped in his tracks, covering his face with his hands as he tried to stay calm. That wasn’t an easy thing to do, though, when all he could think about was the night the brunette had been shot.

 

Then his phone went off. He practically lunged at it, but let out a disappointed sigh when he saw it was a normal contact. “He’s not back yet.”

 

“What?” Hikaru said from the other line. “And you’re still at your apartment? Go looking for him already.”

 

“Where am I supposed to start? He could be anywhere.”

 

“So what? It’s been than just pacing your apartment. C’mon, Sanada, be a cop.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sure he’s fine, though. He seems like the type who can take care of himself without an issue.”

 

“He is, but…” He shook his head, taking a deep breath. “He’s been injured pretty badly before.”

 

“Yeah, you mentioned he was shot back when you two were in high school.”

 

“Twice. In the chest.”

 

“Holy shit, how did he survive that?”

 

“Tch. That’s a good question.” He paused, thinking. “I just don’t know what to do. What if he doesn’t come back?”

 

“He has nowhere else to go.”

 

“That’s never stopped him before.”

 

Just then, the front door swung open and the brunette stumbled inside. Akihiko hung up the phone without saying another word and tossed it aside. He then rushed up to Shinjiro and threw his arms around him. _This is weird. I shouldn’t be doing this. But I don’t even care. And so long as he’s not pushing me away, I’m not letting go._

 

“The hell is this for?” Shinjiro spoke up, his words slurring a bit. He was holding his arms up as if touching the other would cause him to fall into pieces.

 

Akihiko pulled away and punched his arm. “I was worried.”

 

He hissed out of pain, clutching at his upper arm. “Shit. Sometimes I think you forget just how hard you can punch.”

 

“I don’t forget.”

 

“Then the hell was that for?”

 

“I was worried,” he said again.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“You’re drunk.”

 

“Still fine. Still alive.”

 

“I’m serious, Shinji. I had no way of getting in touch with you. I mean, I couldn’t check up on you or make sure if you were okay.” He shook his head. “If you had gotten hurt, there’s nothing I would’ve been able to do to help you.”

 

He was quiet for a moment. “I don’t need you checking up on me. I ain’t a child.”

 

He clenched his jaw. “Don’t give me that shit.”

 

“Tch.” He looked around the apartment. “Where’s your little friend? Waiting for you in bed?”

 

“Oh, come on.” He took a deep breath in an attempt to regain his composure. _It’s too late for you to be yelling_. “There is nothing between me and her. There never has been and there never will be. Just get that through your thick head already.”

 

“Then why did she come over at four o’clock in the morning?”

 

“What does it matter?”

 

“Why can’t you tell me?”

 

“I don’t wanna talk about this when you’re drunk.”

 

“I ain’t that drunk.”

 

“I don’t care. It’s none of your business anyhow.”

 

“She sat at that table this morning,” he pointed towards the kitchen, “and practically told me everything about her relationship with you from when you two couldn’t stand each other to now. So I think you could maybe tell me what the hell she was doing over here at four o’clock in the morning. Otherwise I will continue to believe you two were hooking up.”

 

“Why do you even care?”

 

“Because I don’t wanna be here if you’re gonna be hooking up with other people.”

 

Akihiko folded his arms across his chest, trying to hold back a smile now. _Maybe Hikaru was right. Maybe Shinji really is jealous._ “I don’t…hook up with people.”

 

The brunette nodded his head once. “Good. You’re better than that.”

 

He shook his head, his arms dropping back to his sides as he chuckled. “Even after all these years, I still can’t stay mad at you.”

 

Shinjiro smiled in return. “That’s also good.”

 

“What’s not good is how drunk you are right now.”

 

“I already told you, I ain’t that drunk.”

 

“You’re still pretty drunk.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Akihiko gestured his head towards their bedrooms. “Go change. We’re both sleeping out here tonight so I can keep an eye on you.”

 

“I ain’t gonna die in my sleep, Aki.”

 

“Yeah, not if I’m watching you.”

 

“Tch. You’re ridiculous.” With that, he made his way to his room.

 

Once Akihiko heard the door close, he got a hold of his phone. He had a good amount of messages from Hikaru asking him if everything was all right. So he decided to give her a quick call back.

 

“Aki, what the hell?” she said. “You can’t do that to me.”

 

“I’m sorry. Shinji walked in and I just…I didn’t think.”

 

“So he’s okay?”

 

“He’s drunk, but he’s safe.”

 

She chuckled a bit. “That’s good. Did he say anything about earlier? Or what did you say to him?”

 

“Look, I don’t have time to sit down and talk with you. I just wanted to let you know that we were both fine.”

 

“Oh. Okay. Yeah. Thanks for that. Uhm. Guess I’ll just talk to you later, then.”

 

“Yeah. Later.” And he hung up once again. Then he heard what sounded like wheezing coming from down the hall. “Shinji?” He followed the sound to the bathroom to see the brunette clinging to the toilet bowl. He leaned against the doorframe, holding back a grin as he folded his arms across his chest. “Not that drunk, huh?”

 

Shinjiro spit into the toilet. “Shut up.”

 

He chuckled to himself as he shook his head. Then he helped the other clean up and get changed before they both settled down in the living room. He brought the trash bin over in case Shinjiro had an emergency, but once the brunette fell asleep he seemed to be fine. As for Akihiko, he remained wide awake. He stayed up and watched Shinjiro as he slept. He stayed up and thought about all the things he had been avoiding for so long now. The past and his old teammates. Dorm mates. Friends. He had to do something, and he had to do it soon.

 

Right this instant, though, all he had to do was keep an eye on his best friend. Watch him. Admire him. _One day, Shinji, I’ll make things right. Then we’ll be able to start over. And it’ll be so much better than how things used to be. Then again, so long as you’re with me, I’m always so much better_.


	11. Shinjiro V

When Shinjiro awoke that morning, the pounding in his head didn’t hesitate to make its presence known. He groaned, sitting up slowly. He looked around the apartment to find it empty, but it wasn’t long before Akihiko walked in through the front door.

 

“You’re up,” he said. He closed the door behind him. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Like an idiot.”

 

“Good, because you made a fool of yourself last night.”

 

“Oh, thanks.”

 

“Do you remember anything?”

 

 _Not sure I want to remember last night’s events_. “I dunno. I feel like I vaguely remember us arguing some more.”

 

“Wouldn’t have called it arguing, but—”

 

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I’m just sorry I’ve been such a prick. You shouldn’t have to deal with my piss-poor attitude. It ain’t fair to you, especially after you took me in with no expectations of me.”

 

“Yo, relax,” he said with a chuckle. “You’re seriously overthinking things right now. It’s not like you’re a burden.”

 

He scoffed at himself. _You sure about that?_ “Feels like it.”

 

“You’re not.”

 

“Tch.”

 

“Hmm.” He paused. “Anything I can do to help you feel better? Do you need something to eat or to drink? Or maybe we can go for a walk around the city. Fresh air might do you some good.”

 

 _C’mon, Aki, don’t do that. Don’t try to take care of me. That only makes me feel like even more of a shitbag._ “Nah, think I’ll just take it easy today.”

 

“Taking it easy requires me bringing you food and water. Or coffee, if that actually helps with hangovers.”

 

“Are you telling me you’ve never been hungover?”

 

“Are you telling me you’re surprised by that?”

 

“Heh. Good point.” He shook his head, and then squeezed his eyes shut. Even that slight movement made him feel uneasy. Nauseated. He rubbed his temples. “Remind me not to go out drinking again any time soon.”

 

“I can do that. Now, what do you want to eat?”

 

There was no fighting it. Shinjiro could argue all he wanted, but Akihiko was still far too stubborn for his own good. And for him to win the argument. “Not hungry. Coffee does sound pretty good, though.”

 

“Coffee it is.”

 

So Akihiko started brewing a pot of coffee, and Shinjiro stumbled his way towards the bathroom. He managed to keep himself steady long enough to take a shower. Or at least a quick rinse. Once he made it back to the kitchen, a cup of coffee was already waiting for him. He sat down at the table across from the other, who now seemed preoccupied with a newspaper.

 

“You hate listening to news stations, but you’ll read the paper?” he spoke up.

 

Akihiko cleared his throat. “It’s kinda necessary for a couple of my classes. We need to keep up with crime rates and whatnot. So I’m not really reading the news, just getting an idea of—”

 

“How fucked up the world is.”

 

“C’mon, you don’t really believe that.”

 

“I’ve witnessed a lot of shit, Aki. Trust me, the world is fucked up. People are selfish and only motivated when it comes to saving their own ass. Otherwise, they’re willing to let anyone fall.”

 

He furrowed his brow. “You’re not selfish.”

 

“Tch.” He turned his head away. “Yes I am.”

 

“Shinji—”

 

“You haven’t known me for the last five years, Aki. You don’t know all the shit I’ve been through. All the shit I’ve done. Sure, I was spending my time trying to track you down, but a lot of things happened in between those travels.”

 

“Then tell me. I wanna hear about it. I wanna know everything. All your mistakes. Your regrets. Your selfish acts. Just tell me.”

 

“I don’t think you’d ever be able to look at me the same. And…I don’t what I’d do if that were the case.”

 

Akihiko leaned on the table. And being just that little bit closer made Shinji’s heart beat faster. “Shinji, you accidentally killed a woman back in high school. Yet, all I did after the incident was try to help you move past it. I tried to help you…grow from it rather than dwell on it.” He shrugged his shoulders. “What could you have possibly done in the last five years that would make you think I would abandon you if I learned about it?”

 

“Just…some of the things I did to earn extra money. I was desperate at one point and got involved with some bad people.” He kept his gaze down, though he could feel Akihiko staring right through him. “I could’ve gotten into some serious trouble, and then I really never would’ve found you.”

 

“You used to buy drugs from the people who tried to kill you.” He shook his head. “I still don’t get what you’re so concerned about.”

 

“Then you really are an idiot. Because you have a good head on your shoulders and I’m a bad influence. A toxic person.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

He let out a heavy sigh. “Just promise me one thing.”

 

“Anything.”

 

He finally lifted his gaze to meet the other’s. “Don’t let me corrupt you.”

 

Akihiko smiled in return, and Shinjiro was almost positive his heart was going to jump right out of his chest cavity. Then Akihiko reached across the table and took his hand in his own. Shinjiro waited for him to say something, but instead he just stared at him with that sappy smile. He swallowed hard, taking his hand back and looking away as he felt heat rising to his cheeks.

 

“Sorry. I don’t know why—”

 

“Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Well, that’s the most colour I’ve seen in your face since you woke up.”

 

Shinjiro felt his cheeks burn brighter at this comment. Akihiko only laughed, and it made his heart skip a beat. _Damn it, what is going on? And why is Aki acting like it’s a totally normal thing? I mean, this isn’t normal. It’s…it’s—_ Just then, the other’s phone went off, and the brunette found his head snapping up to catch his reaction. Akihiko gave a quick response to the message he received before casting his phone aside.

 

“Who was that?” Shinjiro said.

 

“Hikaru. She was wondering if I’d be attending the study group tonight.”

 

“Are you?”

 

“No, I’m taking care of you.”

 

“It’s still early. I’m sure I’ll be better by tonight.”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “I’d rather stay here with you anyway.”

 

“Don’t you need to study, though?”

 

“I have plenty of time to study. But I have more time with you that I need to make up. So I’m staying here tonight. Besides, I’m already getting sick of fighting with you. I mean, everything was great at first. I don’t understand what happened.”

 

He raised an eyebrow at him. “Seriously?”

 

“What?”

 

“Hikaru.”

 

“This is really all about her?”

 

Shinjiro grumbled under his breath as he ran a hand through his hair before scratching at the back of his head. “I dunno. I guess.”

 

“What? Are you afraid you’re getting replaced as a best friend?”

 

“Tch.” _Not as a best friend, no._ “Like I said, I’m selfish.” _I want you to myself. I want all your attention. I want you_. He froze for a moment. “Either way, it’s your own choice what you do tonight.”

 

“Yeah. And I’m choosing to stay here with you.”

 

“Fine. But you have all day to change your mind.”

 

“Do you want me to change my mind?”

 

 _No, of course not_. “I never said that.” _I don’t want you to go anywhere. Not unless I’m going with you. Five years is way too long to spend apart, after all. Like you said, we got a lot of time to make up_. “Just saying if you feel differently by tonight, I won’t hold it against you.”

 

Now Akihiko shook his head at him, chuckling. “Stop being so ridiculous.”

 

Shinjiro couldn’t help but smile in return. They then fell silent as they continued drinking their room-temperature coffees. By the time they made it through more conversations and went for second cups, the coffee they had brewed was cold.


	12. Akihiko VI

Another week or so passed, and all of a sudden, Akihiko only had two weeks left until he graduated. Due to that, he started seeing less and less of Shinjiro. He dedicated all his free time to studying. Then when he wasn’t studying, he was either in an actual class or at his internship. He couldn’t even find time to make it to the gym for training.

 

At long last, though, a night came where he was able to sit at home with Shinjiro and just relax. The brunette had made dinner, which he would be forever grateful for every single time, and he made coffee afterwards.

 

“Hey, uh, have you gotten in touch with Kirijo or any of the others yet?” Shinjiro said out of nowhere, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over them.

 

He swallowed hard. “Not yet.”

 

“I’m surprised to hear that. Why not?”

 

“I haven’t spoken to any of them in years. Every time they tried reaching out to me, I just ignored them. So I’m not exactly sure what kind of warm welcoming I might receive from them.”

 

“I’m sure they’ll understand and be forgiving about it.”

 

“I’m surprised you’re even asking. I figured you wouldn’t want to deal with any of them again.”

 

Shinjiro shrugged his shoulders. “Can’t say I’d mind seeing the kid again. I’d like to know he’s doing well for himself. That he grew up strong and without any regrets.”

 

“Then why don’t you call?”

 

“Because they probably think I’m dead, and that could get weird.”

 

Akihiko couldn’t help but laugh at this. “True enough.” He let out a heavy sigh. “I dunno. Maybe I’ll give Mitsuru a call once graduation is done and over with.”

 

“Sure. Better late than never, right?”

 

“Since when are you so cliché?”

 

“Huh.” He thought for a moment. “I must be spending too much time with you.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

He chuckled. “Take it as a compliment.”

 

“How is that supposed to be a compliment?”

 

“I dunno.”

 

Now he laughed as well. “You’re such a prick.” Just then, his phone started to ring. He looked at the screen before answering. “Hey, Hikaru.”

 

“He’s here again,” she said. “Except this time, I’m already in my apartment and he’s just standing across the street staring at my window. I swear, Aki, he’s not even moving. He’s like a frigging statue or something. It’s creepy.”

 

“Think you could make it to your car so you can get here?”

 

“I honestly have no idea. What if he tries attacking me?”

 

“It’s still too light out for him to try to make a move. He’d wait till later in the night to do something like that. If not, then he’s an idiot.”

 

“We already know he’s not stupid, though. He’s brilliant. He has to be if I can’t figure out who the hell he is.”

 

“Want me to go over there, then? Or I can at least pick you up and bring you back to my place.”

 

“And risk him finding out where you live? No, not gonna happen.”

 

“Then I’ll come over and spend the night there.”

 

“And leave your boyfriend alone? No, that’s not gonna happen either.”

 

“He’s not my—” He stopped. He had almost forgotten that Shinjiro was in the room with him. He gazed over at the brunette, who was gazing back with curiosity. “Would you be okay with Shinji tagging along?”

 

“Of course not. Then I’d have two guys who could kick this fucker’s ass, if need be.”

 

“Hopefully it won’t come to that.” He shook his head. “We’ll be there soon.”

 

“Try to get a ride so the guy doesn’t figure out your car.”

 

“Relax, Hikaru. See you soon.” And he hung up. “So—”

 

“Ex-boyfriend giving her issues?” Shinjiro spoke up.

 

“No. Just some random guy stalking her. We have no idea who he is or why he’s doing it. Started a couple months ago, though.”

 

“This is what that night was about, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

He sighed. “Then why the hell didn’t you just tell me that, Aki? Why do you let me freak on you and storm out?”

 

“I dunno. I didn’t think it was my business to say anything.”

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to apologise, Shinji.”

 

“I do, though. I overreacted and you were just protecting her.”

 

“Well, I forgive you. Now, would you be okay with coming with me to her place? She’s not comfortable being alone.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll go.”

 

He smiled. “Thanks.”

 

So they quickly cleaned up the little mess they had made in the apartment, and then left to go to Hikaru’s. After about ten minutes, they arrived at the complex. As Akihiko got out of the car, he looked around until his eyes landed on a strange figure across the street. He sneered at the unwanted guest.

 

“That must be him,” he said.

 

Shinjiro looked in the direction of his gaze. “Yeah, he looks like a creep, all right.”

 

“Maybe we can scare him off.”

 

He stepped towards the figure, but didn’t make it very far before Shinjiro’s hand gripped his elbow, halting him. “Aki, c’mon, you ain’t here to be reckless. You’re here to support your friend.”

 

“Yeah. Fine. You’re right. Sorry.”

 

With that, they made their way inside and up to Hikaru’s apartment. Akihiko knocked in a pattern, and Shinjiro raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“It’s a code so she knows it’s me.”

 

“Guess that makes sense.”

 

She opened the door and gestured them in without saying anything. Then she closed the door again and locked it.

 

“Thank you both so much for being willing to come over here,” she said. “Especially on such short notice, too.” She then paused. “Well, I guess I don’t really have to thank Aki; I already know you would’ve done this for me. Really, I should be thanking you, Shinji.” She turned to face him. “You didn’t have to come along, and you could’ve told Aki that you didn’t want him to leave. But you didn’t and you’re here. So thank you.”

 

He swallowed hard. “I ain’t that much of a shitbag.”

 

She laughed a little. “C’mon, I made coffee.”

 

Akihiko stopped Shinjiro as he started to follow her to the kitchen. “See? You’re not a bad person.” The brunette smiled sheepishly at him before walking away. Akihiko let him go with a sigh. _C’mon, Shinji, I know you better than that. And I know you’re better than whatever you believe_.


	13. Shinjiro VI

After the night Shinjiro accompanied Akihiko to Hikaru’s place, he somehow ended up with her number so he could be a secondary emergency contact in case she couldn’t get in touch with Akihiko. Huh. He still had no interest in being this girl’s friend, but he also wasn’t going to tell her no or deny her safety because of the fact that she was Akihiko’s friend. He just hoped she wasn’t going to turn into someone who thought she could go to him for every little detail of her life. If it did come to that, though, he would then have to start ignoring her.

 

It was now a week out from Akihiko’s graduation, and Shinjiro could practically see the steam coming out of his ears every time he studied.

 

“You keep working yourself this hard now, you’re not gonna have any energy left for the actual final exams,” he spoke up.

 

The look Akihiko shot him in response hurt worse than the bullets than had gone through his chest all those years ago. “Don’t say that,” he said. “These aren’t just my final exams. These are quite literally the last exams I will ever have to take. If I screw this up, then—” He stopped, shaking his head. “Then I will have nothing.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“I’ll lose my internship.”

 

“Still doesn’t mean you won’t have nothing.”

 

“Shinji—”

 

“You’ll have me, moron.”

 

He smiled at this. “Thanks.”

 

“Now,” he rose to his feet, “rather than hang out here and distract you even more—” _as tempting as that sounds,_ “—I think I’m gonna go out for a bit.”

 

“Huh? Right now? It’s after midnight.”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “Then I’ll just walk around and get some fresh air.”

 

“It’s way too late for you to be out there.”

 

“C’mon, Aki, I can handle myself. Don’t forget that I’ve spent most of my life living out on the streets.”

 

“That really doesn’t make me feel any better.”

 

“I’ll be fine.” He headed for the front door. “Don’t wait up.”

 

“You know I will,” he said back.

 

Shinjiro grinned to himself as he walked out the door. He made his way down the stairs, catching a gust of wind as he stepped outside. He stuffed his hands into his pockets. It was still pretty chilly for late March.

 

After spending a few long minutes aimlessly wandering through the night, he started to make his way towards the bar he went to every now and then. Sure, it was late, but maybe they were having a last call or something. Figured he’d go check it out anyhow. As he got closer, though, he could overhear a conversation. At least…he thought it might be some sort of conversation. Maybe not. As the voices grew clearer, it started to sound more like arguing. Then once he finally caught sight of the people holding the alleged conversation, he realised it was a struggle. He sped up, prepared to intervene.

 

“Excuse me,” he said. “Is there a problem here?” The two people looked towards, and his eyes widened. “Hikaru…” She moved to run at him, but her stalker wrapped his arm around her neck, trapping her in a head-lock. Shinjiro froze, putting his hands up. “Whoa, calm down. There’s no need to get aggressive.” The stalker pulled her back. She had both hands on his arm, trying to pull and push him away. “C’mon, let her go. She hasn’t done anything to you. She’s caused no harm. Please. Just let her go.” The stalker brought his free hand up to her head and she squeezed her eyes shut. He started stroking her hair, but he still didn’t say a word. And Shinjiro still couldn’t see his face. “All right. Is there something you want? Is there some sort of agreement we can settle on? Something that results in her being set free unharmed?” At this, the stalker only snickered. And that was what really pissed Shinjiro off. So he stepped right up to them, closing the distance, but the stalker didn’t even flinch. “Let her go.” Nothing. “Don’t make me say it again.”

 

They both remained still. Shinjiro waited for the slightest hint of movement, and when he spotted it— He slipped he behind one of the stalker’s ankles and covered his face with his hand, pushing him back. The stalker lost his balance, releasing his grip on Hikaru and allowing Shinjiro to pull her away as the stalker fell to the ground.

 

“Let’s get out of here,” Hikaru said as she worked on catching her breath.

 

“Hold on.”

 

“Don’t do anything stupid. He’s flustered, so let’s go while we still can.”

 

“I wanna see his face.” He crouched before the stalker. “C’mon, coward, the hell are you waiting for?” The stalker lay motionless on the ground. “Tch. You’re pathetic.” He stood back up and turned to Hikaru. “Let’s go.”

 

“What did you do to him?”

 

“Nothing. He’s just all bark and no bite.”

 

Just then, Shinjiro was pounced on from behind, getting knocked to his knees. He hissed out of pain as Hikaru let out a short scream. Shinjiro continued falling to his hands, but quickly managed to shrug the stalker off him. He then flipped himself onto his back just in time to catch the stalker lunging at him. He caught him by the shoulders and rolled them over, pinning him to the ground. That was when he lost control of his fists, throwing punches until he was getting pulled away.

 

“Enough,” Hikaru said. “It’s only self-defence for so many hits.”

 

Shinjiro was panting, his knuckles covered in blood. “You attack a guy with his back on you. Tch. I was right. You are a coward.”

 

With that, they left the scene, making their way back to Akihiko’s apartment. When they walked in, Akihiko jumped to his feet.

 

“What happened?” he said.

 

“My stalker finally approached me and tried getting physical,” Hikaru said. “Luckily, though, Shinji showed up before anything could escalate.”

 

Akihiko looked towards the brunette with wide eyes. He gave him a once over before his eyes landed on his hands. “Shinji, what did you do?”

 

“It was self-defence,” he said. “Fucker had it coming to him.”

 

“He did attack Shinji first,” Hikaru went on. “But Shinji also may have taken it a bit too far.”

 

“You can’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same.”

 

Akihiko sighed. “No, you’re right, I probably would have.” He turned back on Hikaru. “Are you okay?”

 

She nodded. “I’ll manage.” She took a deep breath. “If you don’t mind, could I go take a shower.”

 

“Of course. You know where everything is.”

 

“Thank you.” And she made her way for the bathroom.

 

Akihiko released another sigh. “Let me get you some ice for your hands.” He headed for the kitchen, opening the freezer. “I can’t believe you punched him.”

 

“I didn’t punch him,” Shinjiro said. “I beat the shit out of him.”

 

“Guess it’s a good thing you went out tonight, otherwise that would’ve been Hikaru who was left on the street.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

He handed the brunette a bag of ice wrapped in a towel. “Here. The sooner you get some ice on the wounds, the sooner the swelling will go down.”

 

“I don’t think I can hold that.”

 

He chuckled a bit. “C’mon.” They say together at the table, Shinjiro putting his hands out flat and Akihiko dabbing at them with the ice. “Were you hurt at all by him?”

 

“I’m surprised my knees aren’t broken seeing as he attacked me from behind. But they’re definitely sore.”

 

“Well, you’re walking, so that’s a good sign.” He then took his free hand to cup Shinjiro’s chin, gently tilting his head to the left and to the right. “Doesn’t look he got any punches in, either.”

 

Akihiko then slid his hand away. And as his fingers brushed against Shinjiro’s cheek, the brunette closed his eyes and leaned his head into the touch. They both stilled, and when Shinjiro opened his eyes again, Akihiko was staring right at him. His cheeks burned, but that didn’t stop him from leaning closer.

 

“Oh, uhm,” Akihiko said, suddenly pulling his hand away and putting his attention back on the brunette’s injuries. “I meant to tell you earlier, but it slipped my mind. I, uhm, got in touch with Mitsuru.”

 

Shinjiro’s eyes widened a bit. “Y-you did?”

 

“Yeah. She remembers, too. Guess it helps that she works with Aigis. Turns out, though, she’s also still in touch with Takeba and Yamagishi. And they’ve both kept in touch with Iori. So the three of them remember everything, as well.”

 

“That’s good.” _What does this mean, though? For us_. “What about Amada?”

 

“According to Iori, he doesn’t want anything to do with it anymore. He does remember, but he’d rather not think about it to reminisce or anything of the sort.”

 

“I ain’t looking to reminisce, either. Doesn’t mean you can’t keep in touch.”

 

He smiled. “You worry about him, don’t you?”

 

“Well…yeah.”

 

“Guess it’s good that I invited them all to graduation, then, huh?”

 

“So much for waiting till after graduation.”

 

“Yeah, I thought about it and figured it could be a nice little reunion.”

 

“It will be.” He sighed. _Great. Now it won’t be just us anymore. Now the others are gonna try to be a part of our lives again. Tch. I don’t want that. I only want you_. Shinjiro froze, blushing deep at his own thoughts. Lucky for him, though, Akihiko’s focus was still on his icing his knuckles. “Told you they wouldn’t be mad.”

 

Now he smiled sheepishly. “We’ll see what happens once they actually get here.”

 

With that, they fell silent. With that, Shinjiro began to dread the days to come. Days where he wouldn’t have Akihiko to himself anymore. Days where he wouldn’t be able to get away with being selfish.


	14. Akihiko VII

Initially, Akihiko only touched Shinjiro’s face to check for cuts and bruises. Somehow, though, his hand ended up cupping the brunette’s cheek. And he had the strangest urge to lean forward. To lean closer to him. Then when he noticed Shinjiro was leaning closer, all he could do was panic.

 

“Oh, uhm,” he said, pulling his hand away and placing his attention back on the injuries the other had acquired. “I meant to tell you earlier, but it slipped my mind. I, uhm, got in touch with Mitsuru.”

 

Shinjiro’s eyes widened a bit. “Y-you did?”

 

“Yeah. She remembers, too. Guess it helps that she works with Aigis. Turns out, though, she’s also still in touch with Takeba and Yamagishi. And they’ve both kept in touch with Iori. So the three of them remember everything, as well.”

 

“That’s good.” He paused. “What about Amada?”

 

“According to Iori, he doesn’t want anything to do with it anymore. He does remember, but he’d rather not think about it or reminisce or anything of the sort.”

 

“I ain’t looking to reminisce, either. Doesn’t mean you can’t keep in touch.”

 

He smiled. _And you think you’re a bad person. You’re more selfless than you realise_. “You worry about him, don’t you?”

 

“Well…yeah.”

 

“Guess it’s good that I invited them all to graduation, then, huh?”

 

“So much for waiting till after graduation.”

 

 _I knew it. You’re upset. Why, though? C’mon, Shinji, what is going on in that head of yours. For once, please, just tell me flat out_. “Yeah, I thought about it and figured it could be a nice little reunion.”

 

“It will be.” He let out a heavy sigh. Akihiko kept his focus on the task at hand; icing his injuries. “Told you they wouldn’t be mad.”

 

He smiled sheepishly at this. “We’ll see what happens once they actually get here.” He then dabbed at the brunette’s knuckles a few more times before setting the ice aside. “That should do it for now.” He rose to his feet. “I’m gonna go check on Hikaru.”

 

He walked towards the bathroom, and as soon as he was ready to knock, the door swung open.

 

“Hello there,” Hikaru said.

 

Akihiko froze before lowering his arm. “Hi. Uh, I just wanted to make sure you were still doing okay.”

 

“Not gonna lie, I could be better.”

 

“Right. Did you call the station to report the incident before you left the scene?”

 

“Not exactly.”

 

“What?” He sighed. “Did you at least figure out who the guy is?”

 

“Yes, actually. As it turns out, he’s a regular at the bar. But I still have no idea what his issue with me is.” She shook her head. “Enough about that, though.” She looked down the hall. “Did you tell him?”

 

He furrowed his brow. “Huh? Tell him what?”

 

She rolled her eyes as she stepped past him, making her way to his bedroom. He followed her. “Does he still think we’re friends with benefits?”

 

“No, he—”

 

“Good. Now that that’s settled, then, you can tell him the truth about how you feel. You really should have told him the moment he started believing we were sleeping together, but better late than never.”

 

“You have the wrong idea.”

 

“C’mon, Aki, why are you still denying it? Are you seriously that oblivious to your own feelings?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t have feelings for him. Why are you so adamant about believing I do?”

 

She grinned. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. I’ve also had guys look at me like that before.” She paused. “Then again, you’re look is a lot sweeter. A lot more admiring. You also talk about him like your whole world revolves around him.”

 

“He’s my best friend and I thought he was dead.”

 

Now she shook her head at him. “It’s way more than that. No offence, but you’re not the most affectionate person. You’re closed off and usually keep your distance. You definitely show fondness towards Shinji, though. You see him as more than just your best friend; that much is obvious.”

 

“Clearly not.”

 

“True. But if it helps, it’s obvious that he likes you, too. I mean, that jealousy towards me was totally uncalled for. He didn’t try to be discreet about it, either. So I think that right there gives you a pretty straightforward answer.”

 

“That almost sounded believable until you said that last part.”

 

“The hell are you talking about?”

 

“Shinji isn’t a straightforward kind of guy.”

 

“No, you’re not a straightforward kind of guy. And if you can’t be straightforward, then Shinji can’t be straightforward.”

 

“Are you trying to say you know him better than me?”

 

“I’m trying to say I know you. And Shinji had no problem letting me be aware of the fact that he did not like me. So he’s a lot more straightforward than you realise. Didn’t you even say so yourself that he faced death head-on? Someone who can look down the barrel of a gun when it means life or death has to be straightforward.”

 

“Hmm.” He paused. _Shit. Is she right? Did I, in a way…hold Shinji back? Did my attitude and behaviour keep him from being completely upfront with me? Was it my own fault that he always tried pushing himself away?_ He shook his head. “Fine. If that’s the case, then why hasn’t he confronted me yet?”

 

“Because you’re so oblivious to your own feelings that you don’t even know how to show them. So he probably can’t tell how you truly feel.”

 

“He’s always been able to see right through me.”

 

“And what about you? Have you always been able to read him?”

 

“No, he always made it possible.”

 

“Ever think that might be how he felt towards you?”

 

He narrowed his eyes. “No. He always acted like he didn’t give a shit.”

 

“If you couldn’t read him, how’d you know it was an act?”

 

“Shut up. You’re a detective, not a therapist.”

 

“I’m investigating your emotions.”

 

His jaw hung open for a moment. “Yeah, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that and walk away now.”

 

She laughed in response. “Okay, okay. But in all seriousness, Aki, you have no reason to be afraid. Just tell him. And if it turns how his feelings don’t match, then I’m sure the two of you will be able to remain friends.”

 

“I’m telling you, Hikaru, it’s not like that.”

 

“That’s what you said to him about us.”

 

“And it was the truth.”

 

“He also didn’t believe you.”

 

“So you’re not gonna believe me?”

 

“Not until you prove me wrong. Now, I’m exhausted and, frankly, a bit traumatised from tonight’s events. So, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna try to get some sleep.”

 

With that, Akihiko left the room and Hikaru closed the door behind him. He then paused before returning to the kitchen. Shinjiro was still sitting at the table, working on washing the dried blood off his hands. Akihiko leaned against the wall, folding his arms across his chest as he remembered all the times he physically fought with the brunette. All the black eyes and split lips and swollen knuckles. Those many instances were when he had felt closest with his best friend, and he figured that probably wasn’t a good thing. He was sure it wasn’t normal. Then again, his relationship with Shinjiro had never been normal. He would never change a thing about it, though. Nor would he ever replace it or throw it away for anything.

 

As he stood there observing the other, though, all he could think about was how much he wanted to embrace him. How much he wanted to tell him how happy he was that he was okay. That he was safe and sound. That he was alive. He wanted to sit with him and comfort him, even if he didn’t need comforting. Hmm. Maybe Akihiko was the one who needed comforting. Maybe…

 

Maybe their relationship changing wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all. Maybe being physically closer—in a manner that wasn’t fighting for once—would end up benefiting both of them.

 

Akihiko smiled at the thought. And when Shinjiro turned and spotted him against the wall, he smiled at him. The sight caused his breath to hitch and his stomach to flip.

 

Huh. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to prove Hikaru wrong.


	15. Shinjiro VII

Two days before graduation. Two whole days Shinjiro could spend with Akihiko because he had nothing else going on. With final exams done and out of the way, he had finally been granted a break. And Shinjiro was planning on utilising that time to the best of his ability. The only issue was the fact that Kirijo and the others were set to arrive tomorrow. That left him with only one actual day where he would have Akihiko to himself. But that wasn’t going to stop him from utilising the time as best he could.

 

The morning before the group’s arrival, Shinjiro woke up early. He brewed a pot of coffee and started prepping a big breakfast. Akihiko got up before he had the chance to finish it, though.

 

“Shouldn’t you maybe do this tomorrow? Y’know, once everyone’s here?” he announced his presence.

 

“They’re not getting here till the afternoon.”

 

“Then you could do lunch instead of breakfast.”

 

“Well, I wanna do this for you today. Because we’re not celebrating a reunion right now. We’re celebrating you passing your exams with flying colours and graduating in just two days.”

 

He sat down at the table with a heavy sigh. “I still can’t believe it. I mean, it’s gonna be a little weird not returning to school for the new semester.”

 

“You get used to it.”

 

“Yeah, are you ever gonna return to school?”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I never even graduated high school, Aki. Ain’t much I can do at this point. I just gotta hope I’ll be able to find a job that doesn’t require any sort of degree.”

 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll manage. You’re smart enough with or without a degree.” He then paused, thinking. “Oh, maybe you could be a counselor or something for kids with drug issues or bad home lives or—”

 

“Seeing as I ain’t any good with advice, especially when it comes to family shit, I don’t think that would work out in anyone’s benefit. Besides, I’m pretty sure that kind of job definitely requires some sort of degree.”

 

Now he chuckled a bit. “Yeah, yeah, sorry. I’m just trying to help.”

 

“You’ve done plenty to help me.”

 

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

 

 _Like what? Tch. I could go on forever. Where do I even begin?_ “Never giving up on me. Always having faith in me. Believing I’m worth more than my past. That I’m worth fighting for. That I deserved a second chance.” He shrugged his shoulders. _Hope I got my point across_. “Trust me, Aki, you’re the only reason I’ve tried to better myself.”

 

“Better yourself? You say like that you needed fixing.”

 

“I did.”

 

“You were never broken, Shinji. You weren’t some tool that needed to be sharpened or buffed or whatever. Sure, you suffered through some shit, but—”

 

“I was pretty fucked for a while there, Aki. I know you don’t like to think so, but it’s the truth and you can’t keep denying it.”

 

“Hmm. Either way, you don’t have to thank me.”

 

“Good thing I never did, then.” He looked over his shoulder at the other and gave him a playful wink. Akihiko turned his head down as his cheeks reddened, and the brunette focused back on the food he was making with a grin. “Glad I ain’t the only one who gets flustered.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

He shook his head. “Nothing. Never mind.”

 

“Shinji—”

 

“Hope you’re hungry,” he said, changing the subject before Akihiko could carry on with it. “There’s a lot to choose from.”

 

Akihiko didn’t fight him on the change of topic. He let it go, the two of them sitting down together so they could enjoy the meal in each other’s company. They ate mainly in silence, but Shinjiro was okay with that. There was a time when he hated sitting in silence. He felt it meant he was only being scrutinised; that Akihiko had been thinking of ways to nag at him and convince him to rejoin the group. Of course, now he understood that he had only been trying to show he cared. He just never did a very good job at it considering he was bad with words. And emotions, for that matter.

 

Either way, things were different now. Shinjiro was more comfortable now. With silence and with himself. What he wasn’t very comfortable with was the idea of seeing the others again.

 

“Hey, did you mention me to Kirijo? Y’know, that I’m alive and all?”

 

“I did, yeah,” he said. He cleared his throat. “I told her not to say anything to the others, though. To just mention that there’d be a bit of a surprise.”

 

“So…Amada won’t be expecting—?”

 

“Oh, no, I did have her give Amada a warning. I figured he deserved one.”

 

He nodded his head. “Good. He does. I mean, it wouldn’t be fair if he got blindsided like that.”

 

“Yeah.” He then rose to his feet and started cleaning up.

 

Shinjiro took a deep breath as he remained seated. They still had the entire day ahead of them, yet he felt as if he was running out of time. He had to do something while he still had Akihiko alone, though. Do something. Say something. Hmm. He had never been any good with words, either, so maybe he was better off acting on his feelings rather than just speaking up about them. Or maybe he’d still be better off keeping to himself…

 

_No. I spent enough time back when we were teenagers dodging Aki and my feelings. He hated it and I hated it. Things are different now. He’s different. I’m different. How many times do I have to remind myself of that? So I can’t shut him out or push him away anymore. It’s time I confront him. It’s time I finally tell him the truth._

 

“Aki,” he spoke up.

 

He hummed in response, busy with the dishes. So the brunette got to his feet and put a hand on his shoulder to get his full attention. Akihiko stopped what he was doing and turned to face him. Before he could even open his mouth, though, Shinjiro kissed him. The other’s reaction was almost instantaneous, returning the kiss with such lack of finesse that Shinjiro hoped the sound he had made was only in his head.

 

Soon enough, he was pushing Akihiko back until he found the nearest wall. Once he did, he pressed his body up against the other’s. The kiss was hard. Deep. Passionate. Full of unspoken apologies that Shinjiro could only hope Akihiko understood. But by the way he was holding onto him, he was pretty sure he did. Now the only thing he had left to figure out was why he had been stupid for being too afraid to admit his feelings sooner. It was okay, though. They were together now. He wasn’t afraid anymore.

 

Shinjiro’s hands moved to Akihiko’s hips, squeezing lightly. Akihiko tangled his fingers into his brown hair, moaning into the kiss. The brunette was fueled by the sound as he pressed closer to the other. Then his beanie was pulled off and his shirt was being tugged at. He chuckled low in the back of this throat.

 

“You’re still so impatient,” Shinjiro said right against the other’s lips.

 

“Shut up.”

 

Their faces were barely inches apart, their breathing heavy. Shinjiro smirked softly before stepping back. “Well, I couldn’t have asked for that to go any better.”

 

There was still a prominent flush to Akihiko’s cheeks. “That wasn’t just—” He stopped, still working on catching his breath. “That wasn’t just a, uhm, one-time thing, right?”

 

“What? No, of course not.” He cupped the other’s cheeks. “Don’t be such a moron, Aki.” _I’m sorry you feel that way. I don’t want you to feel that way_. “I just don’t want to push things too far so soon.”

 

“Good, be-because I—I want to be…with you.” He paused, finally managing to even out his breaths. “I can’t lose you again.”

 

“You won’t.” He pulled Akihiko into him. _Now that I have you back in my life, I ain’t going anywhere_. “I’m right here.” _Trust me, I can’t lose you again, either_.

 

It was Akihiko who pulled away first this time. Except he didn’t go far. He looked up at Shinjiro and kissed him again. Next thing he knew, they were stumbling around again, until the brunette’s legs hit the futon. He toppled onto it, but Akihiko didn’t seem to miss a beat. He climbed over him, never breaking the kiss. They only pulled apart when they realised they needed air. Their faces were still barely inches apart, and their breaths came out in pants all over again.

 

Shinjiro hadn’t been expecting Akihiko to make such a bold move like that. Then again, he had always been full of surprises. He chuckled at the idea.

 

“What’s so funny?” Akihiko spoke up.

 

“Just being reminded how I’ve always had a hard time keeping up with you.”

 

At this, the other rolled his hips against Shinjiro’s, causing the brunette to grunt. Akihiko then smirked. “Nah, I’d say you’re right there with me.”

 

He shook his head at him. Before he could get out another word, though, he was being kissed again. So the only thing coming out of his mouth were moans and grunts. He was okay with that, though. He was more than okay with the turn this had taken. He had Akihiko to himself, and that was all he ever wanted.


	16. Akihiko VIII

“Aki,” Shinjiro said.

 

When Akihiko heard the brunette speak his name, he still had to take a moment to let it sink in. After so many years of not hearing that voice say his name, it sounded even better than ever better. It sounded sweeter. No other voice could make his name sound so good. _If only you would say more. If only you would say all the things I want you to say_. He took a moment to compose himself before turning his focus on the other. Before he could even open this mouth to respond, though, lips were connecting with his. He didn’t miss a beat, returning the kiss with such lack of finesse he could’ve sworn he heard Shinjiro let out a small whimper.

 

 _This is happening. Shinji’s kissing me._ Shinji _is_ kissing _me. Hell, this is better than words. Way better. This is too good to be true_.

 

Next thing he knew, his back was up against the nearest wall. This kiss was hard. Deep. Full of forgiveness from all the mistakes that had been made throughout the years. Better yet, he realised that this was exactly what he had wanted all along. That he had been an idiot for being too afraid to admit his feelings to the other sooner, let alone himself. None of that mattered now, though. All that mattered now was the fact that he was ready.

 

Shinjiro’s hands moved to Akihiko’s hips, squeezing lightly. Akihiko tangled his fingers into brown hair, moaning into the kiss before he pulled the brunette’s beanie off, tossing it aside. Then he found himself tugging at the other’s shirt. He felt his cheeks flush when he heard a low chuckle sound from between Shinjiro’s lips.

 

“You’re still so impatient,” Shinjiro spoke up.

 

“Shut up.”

 

Their faces were barely inches apart, their breathing heavy. Shinjiro smirked softly before moving back. “Well, I couldn’t have asked for that to go better.”

 

Akihiko could tell he was still blushing. “That wasn’t just—” He swallowed hard. _Please don’t get pissed_. “That wasn’t just a, uhm, one-time thing, right?”

 

“What? No, of course not.” The brunette cupped his cheeks. “Don’t be such a moron, Aki. I just don’t want to push things too far so soon.”

 

“Good, be-because I—I want to be…with you.” He paused, evening out his breaths. _And you want to be with me, too. I can’t believe this. You’re back in my life and we actually want the same thing for once_. “I can’t lose you again.”

 

“You won’t.” He was pulled into Shinjiro. “I’m right here.”

 

It was Akihiko who pulled away first this time. Except he didn’t go far. He looked up at Shinjiro and kissed him again. Then he gently pushed him back, but in order to keep their lips connected, their movements were unbalanced. Once they reached the futon, though, the brunette fell onto it. Akihiko didn’t hesitate to climb over him, still never breaking the kiss. Not until they realised they needed air. Their faces were barely inches apart, and their breaths came out in pants all over again. Then he heard the other chuckling.

 

“What’s so funny?” Akihiko spoke up.

 

“Just being reminded how I’ve always had a hard time keeping up with you.”

 

At this, Akihiko rolled his hips against the other’s, causing the brunette to grunt. He then smirked. “Nah, I’d say you’re right there with me.”

 

Shinjiro shook his head at him. Before he could say anything else, though, Akihiko kissed him again. So the only thing that ended up coming out of his mouth were moans and grunts. He smiled into the kiss as he started tugging at the other’s shirt once more.

 

“That can only come off if you stop kissing me,” Shinjiro said against his lips.

 

He shuddered at the huskiness of his voice. Then he moved away to pull the other’s shirt off. He went to continue kissing him, but he was stopped. Shinjiro smirked as he tugged at Akihiko’s shirt. Heat flared in his cheeks, but he removed his own shirt as well. As soon as he did, lips were at his bared collarbone. One of his hands practically sprung to Shinjiro’s head, grasping at his hair as he sucked at his neck.

 

“Shinji—” he managed to gasp out.

 

That was when Shinjiro pulled back, looking up at Akihiko with dilated eyes. “Fuck. Say my name like that again. Please.”

 

He laughed breathlessly. “Shinji…”

 

With that, the brunette flipped them over so that he was over Akihiko. He leaned down, trailing his lips along his heated skin. Akihiko shivered at the sensation, especially after his neck was nipped at. He wanted to say the other’s name again because it was the only word on his mind. It was the only word that belonged there.

 

“Tell me to stop, Aki,” Shinjiro spoke up, his voice coarse. “C’mon, tell me to stop now or else I might not be able to stop later.”

 

Akihiko shook his head, swallowing hard. “I don’t want you to stop.”

 

He smiled down at him. “Good.”

 

The two of them then remained on the futon together until it grew to be just a little too small. A bit too uncomfortable. From there, they stumbled their way to the bedroom. Any excess articles of clothing were removed at this point. And as Akihiko fell onto the bed, laughing, he pulled Shinjiro down with him. The brunette caught himself, shaking at his head at him. Akihiko kissed him before he could call him an idiot, though.

 

Before they knew it, they were moving together. Smoothly. Synchronised. Skin to heated skin. It was the deepest level of intimacy either of them had ever reached. The deepest level of vulnerability. But it was perfect.

 

Once they came down from their high, they erased their trail by cleaning up themselves and the apartment. Then Akihiko curled up on the futon as he waited for Shinjiro to finish brewing coffee. He grabbed his phone, which had been lost early on, and checked it for any messages. He saw that he did have a couple, but nothing urgent.

 

“Hear from Kirijo?” Shinjiro spoke up.

 

“Nah, just Hikaru.”

 

“Yeah, what’s going on with her? I mean, they found out who were stalker was, but I feel like I haven’t heard anything on the matter since the night I helped her.”

 

“It’s still a fresh case, so there’s not much she can disclose on it. Not even to me. There is a set trial date, though.”

 

“Does she have the upper hand, or did I kinda screw her over by beating the shit out of the guy?”

 

“Honestly, I’m not even sure. That’s something that probably won’t be discussed till the trial. It’s tough seeing as there aren’t any witnesses from the scene, either. So it’s really just her word against his.”

 

“That’s stupid.”

 

“That’s how it works.” The brunette then joined him on the futon with two cups of coffee. “Oh, thank you.” He took a sip. “So are we gonna talk about what just happened?”

 

Shinjiro chuckled. “We can if you feel the need to.”

 

“I just want to know if anything is going to become of this.”

 

“I ain’t the friends with benefits type, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

 

“What does this mean, then?”

 

“Seriously, Aki? Are you that much of an idiot?”

 

Akihiko sighed. _Didn’t realise it was stupid of me to be concerned over this._ “I’m being serious, Shinji. So please don’t treat it like a joke.”

 

“Hmm. I’m sorry.” He reached out with one hand to cup Akihiko’s cheek. It was warm from the coffee mug. “In all seriousness, then, I’ve had feelings for you since high school. Since we were kids.”

 

“That long?”

 

He shrugged, pulling his hand back. “Yeah.”

 

_Maybe I did, too. Maybe the way I missed you was more than just me missing you as a best friend. Maybe I just could never realise it because I had nothing to compare it to. But now… Now I know for sure I have feelings for you, as well. There’s no other way to explain this sensation. I’m—_

 

“I think…” he said, looking over at the brunette. “I think I’m in love with you.”

 

Shinjiro smiled, and Akihiko’s heart pounded even harder. “I know I’m in love with you, moron.”

 

He laughed at this. “I didn’t mean it like—”

 

“I know, don’t worry.” He took a sip of his coffee. “You’ve always been shit with words and expressing your emotions, so I get it.”

 

“You’re one to talk.”

 

“I never said I was any better.”

 

“Pretty sure you’re worse.”

 

“Tch. Shut up.”

 

His grin turned into a smirk as he placed his coffee cup down on the end table. “Maybe we’re better off,” he pulled the brunette’s mug out of his hands and set it down as well, “letting our actions speak louder than words.” He then crawled over him and kissed him deeply.

 

“Are you shitting me, Aki?” he said once they broke apart. “Already?”

 

“C’mon, you know me.” He ground his hips against the other’s, causing them both to gasp at the friction. “I bounce back fast.”

 

His breath caught in his throat. “Yeah, I’m definitely gonna have a hard time keeping up with you.”

 

“Then I’ll be sure to go slow for you.” _Slow. Fast. I’ll move at any pace, so long as I’m moving with you. Because I’m in love with you, and I only want to be with you_.


	17. Shinjiro VIII

As Shinjiro moved around the kitchen preparing dinner, he couldn’t help but notice the stares from the group as they observed him. He had his back to them, but that didn’t stop the intense feeling of being watched. They had arrived about an hour earlier, and as soon as they all saw him, silence took over. No one knew what to say or how to react. It ended up being more awkward than anything else. So he decided he would just start prepping and cooking. It may not have kept the others’ focus off him, but it at least kept his focus off the others.

 

“So…how exactly did you survive again?” Junpei finally broke the silence.

 

“We never gave an explanation,” Akihiko said.

 

He nodded his head once. “Okay. Then how did you survive?”

 

Shinjiro kept his back to the others. “I’m still not even entirely sure how. But I am sure that after I woke up I had a little run-in with you and Takeba.”

 

“Y’know, I vaguely remember that,” Yukari said. “I wasn’t sure if it had been a dream or something, though.”

 

“Then why do you two seem so surprised?” Fuuka said.

 

“They still didn’t have their memories at that point, I’m assuming,” Shinjiro said. “So it didn’t really faze them when they saw me because they didn’t remember the incident. So seeing me now comes as more of a shocker than it did then.”

 

“That would make sense,” Mitsuru said. She paused, thinking before a small smile spread across her lips. “I wish I could’ve seen Akihiko’s reaction to seeing you again.”

 

Akihiko shook his head. “You wouldn’t have wanted to see that.”

 

“All right, enough about the past,” Junpei then said. “I think it’s time to talk about what’s going on now. For instance, Sanada-san,” he grinned, “you got a girlfriend?”

 

Shinjiro held back a little chuckle as he heard Akihiko sigh. “No, I don’t.”

 

“Still? C’mon, you’re graduating college and you have no girlfriend? Ugh. Please tell me you’ve at least had one.”

 

“A lot has changed since high school, Iori, but that still hasn’t.”

 

“Not every guy needs a girl to define himself,” Yukari said with a smirk. “Some guys already have enough confidence in themselves.”

 

Junpei sneered at her. “Shut up.”

 

“Indicating Akihiko-san’s rise in temperature and increased heartrate,” Aigis then began, “it would seem he is either lying or has someone else in his life.”

 

Now Shinjiro had to stop what he was doing to keep his composure. _The poor bastard. They just love interrogating him. Good thing I’m in the clear._

 

“Do you know anything about this, Aragaki-san?” Fuuka said.

 

“Hmm?” He turned his head towards them as he continued with what he had been doing. “I know there’s a girl, but he claims she’s just a friend.”

 

“You are such a prick,” Akihiko said.

 

He couldn’t help but laugh now. “Okay, okay. There is a girl, but she also really is just a friend. Sanada doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

 

“Fine. What about you, then?” Junpei moved on.

 

Now the brunette froze. _Shit. They should know better than to ask me something like that. Then again, can’t say they were ever really intimidated by me to begin with._ “Me? What do you think, moron?”

 

“Iori, stop asking them personal questions,” Mitsuru said. “It is none of your business. And that goes for all of you.”

 

With that, the group moved towards the living area and seated themselves around the futon. Shinjiro continued cooking, but then Akihiko stepped up beside him. His breath caught in his throat at the closeness and his hands faltered in their actions, and he hoped the other didn’t notice.

 

“Are you able to step aside for a moment so we can talk?” Akihiko said.

 

“What do you need to talk about?”

 

“Are you able to step away?”

 

“Yeah, we can go talk.”

 

So they excused themselves from the others and made their way towards the bedroom. Akihiko closed the door behind them, and Shinjiro instantly wrapped his arms around his waist to pull him close.

 

The brunette smirked softly. “This what you wanted to talk about?”

 

“Yes and no. More so…are we gonna tell the others?”

 

“About us?”

 

“No, about Hikaru and her stalker.” He rolled his eyes, chuckling. “Yes, about us.”

 

“I dunno.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Do you want to?”

 

“Well, what other option do we have, right? Or are we just gonna ignore each other while they’re here?”

 

“Ignoring you sounds pretty nice.”

 

“Tch.”

 

Akihiko pushed at Shinjiro’s chest to get away from him, but the brunette held on tight. “C’mon, hear me out,” he said.

 

“The hell are you getting at?”

 

“If we ignore each other for the next few days,” he leaned in close enough so they were only a breath apart, “just think of the tension that would build.”

 

“Shinji—”

 

He tried pushing away again, but the brunette closed the distance between them instead by kissing him. Hard. Akihiko relaxed into his hold as he kissed him back. _Every damn thing about this is still ridiculous to me. I still can’t believe I have you. You’re mine._ He smiled into the kiss, and next thing he knew he was falling onto the bed as the other crawled on top of him.

 

“See?” he said once they broke apart. “The tension is already building.”

 

Akihiko blushed deep. “Shut up.”

 

“Too bad we don’t have time right now.”

 

Now he glared at him. “You’re such a prick.”

 

He only grinned in response. “You do realise that’s the second time you’ve said that to me today, right?”

 

“Good. I should say it to you more often because it’s the truth.”

 

Now he couldn’t help but laugh. “C’mon, I gotta get back to cooking.”

 

With that, they both worked on calming themselves down before returning to the others. Shinjiro returned to his position in the kitchen while Akihiko separated and sat down in the living area. Then it wasn’t long before Ken approached the brunette.

 

“Senpai?” he announced his presence.

 

“You don’t gotta call me that anymore, kid,” he said.

 

“Feels wrong otherwise.”

 

He shook his head at him. “What’s up?”

 

“I was just wondering if you maybe needed any help.”

 

“Not really. I think I have everything under control.”

 

“Oh.”

 

He looked towards the kid, who’s head had dropped as his gaze fell to the ground. The brunette let out a soft sigh, pausing. _Just shut up and let him help you. You wanna be on good terms with him anyhow._

 

“Actually, now that I think about it, I could use your help,” he said.

 

The kid perked right back up. “Really? Great. What do you need?”

 

He couldn’t hold back the smile. “I’m gonna list off a few spices for you. Grab them from the cabinet, and then I’ll let you know how much of each to put in the sauce mix.”

 

So Ken found the spices as Shinjiro said them, placing them on the counter as he pulled them from the cabinet. Then he stood in front of the pan with the sauce. Shinjiro made his instructions as precise as he could, and the kid followed through on every one of them. The actions he took to help were simple, but he seemed proud of himself. _Damn, this kid has really grown up. Maybe I should stop referring to him as a kid, then. Either way, I’m glad to see he’s doing so well. I’m glad to see that incident didn’t destroy him._ He shook his head of the thoughts, stepping away from what he was doing.

 

“Now it’s time for a taste-test,” he said. Ken handed him the spoon, but he put his hands up. “I want you to try it first. You tell me what you think.”

 

Ken hesitated before taking a sample of the sauce to taste it. He paused. “Uhm…I think it’s okay. I hope it’s okay. I wouldn’t want to have ruined—”

 

“Shut up, you won’t have ruined anything.” He took the spoon from his to taste the sauce himself. “It’s perfect, kid, relax.”

 

“Perfect?”

 

“Yeah, means I give good directions and you’re good at following them.”

 

He laughed. “Thanks, Senpai.”

 

“Now go sit down and enjoy the company of the others.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

“Okay.” He nodded and started to walk away. Before he got far, though, he stopped and looked back at the brunette. “I’m glad you’re alive.”

 

Shinjiro froze, swallowing hard. He took a deep breath as the kid finally walked out of the kitchen. Then he shook his head. _Me too, kid. Same for you._


	18. Doubled II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we have finally reached the end of this little mini-series.  
> I just want to thank everyone who has stuck with me throughout it. All my readers and commenters who made me want to keep posting and updating. I appreciate all the great feedback I've received, and I am so happy to know this story was enjoyed. I hope the ending is just as satisfying. I also hope that I've made a few fans from this story who will continue to read at least some of my other works. Seriously, I can't thank you all enough.  
> Much love <3

Akihiko exited the auditorium as quickly as he could. He wanted to avoid getting lost in the crowd of people who’d be looking for their friends and family. So he decided to sneak out the back way. From there, he quickly tracked down Shinjiro and the others. Before he could even get close to them, though, his Kohai all rushed up to him to congratulate him on graduating. He thanked them as he looked past them all at the brunette, standing with his arms folded across his chest and a small grin across his lips as he stared back. Akihiko held back a blush. _It’s so easy for you to get a reaction out of me, and you make sure to use that to your advantage at the most inconvenient times._ He shook his head as he noticed Shinjiro laughing, almost as if he could read his thoughts. _Wouldn’t surprise me if you could._

 

“Are we gonna go out to eat to celebrate?” Fuuka said once everyone calmed down. “Or are we gonna make Senpai cook for us all again?”

 

“You ain’t making me do anything,” Shinjiro said. “You can’t make me do something I enjoy doing.”

 

“But it is my choice,” Akihiko said. “And I think I’d prefer just going home and relaxing. No need for a big celebration or anything.”

 

“You’re so boring, Sanada,” Hikaru said as she joined the group. “Seriously, go out and enjoy yourself for once.” He glared at her in response, and she grinned. “That looks like the face of someone who’s ready to put up with me for the next twenty years.”

 

“He gives me that same look, so I’d say that’s a safe assumption,” Shinjiro said.

 

“That actually does make me feel better.”

 

“Don’t encourage her,” Akihiko went on. “You don’t even like her.”

 

Her jaw dropped. “Well, damn.”

 

“Seriously, who’s the prick now?” Shinjiro said.

 

Akihiko sighed, shaking his head. “By the way, everyone, this is Hikaru. She’s a friend of mine from school and we’ve been interning at the same station for the last year. We’re set to be partners once we’re official.”

 

With that, Hikaru greeted the others. As soon as they were distracted with introducing themselves to her, Akihiko and Shinjiro snuck away from the group to find some peace and quiet. Plus, they hadn’t really had any alone time in almost two whole days.

 

“When do they leave again?” Shinjiro said.

 

“Not until tomorrow.”

 

“Damn it.” He grumbled under his breath.

 

“What?” He smirked. “The tension getting to be too much for you?”

 

“Maybe. It’s been tough seeing you these last couple of days and…not being able to touch you.” He took a step closer to him. “I’ve been unable to touch you even though you’ve been within reach. And it’s driving me crazy.”

 

Akihiko clenched his jaw as he felt his cheeks burning up. _Shit. That backfired. The teasing was supposed to happen the other way around._ “Well…g-good.”

 

Now the brunette laughed. “Oh, yeah, that was a very clever comeback.” He closed the distance between them, cupping Akihiko’s cheeks in his hands. “Moron.” He then kissed him.

 

Akihiko seized at Shinjiro’s touch while melting into the kiss at the same time. It was an overwhelming sensation. _I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this. Kissing you. I don’t want to get used to it, though. I want it to be this surreal every time._ He smiled as he was pulled closer to the other. _I think you can read my thoughts…_

 

Just then, someone standing behind them cleared their throat. “Boys.”

 

Shinjiro pulled away, but kept their foreheads connected. “So I was thinking…now might be the ideal time to get the others about us.”

 

Akihiko laughed as he pushed the brunette away from him. They both turned to face the group, all of them seemingly astonished and excited.

 

“I wish I could say I was surprised to see this happen,” Mitsuru went on. “I really don’t think I am, though.”

 

“No offence, but its fucking weird,” Junpei said.

 

“Shut up, no it’s not,” Yukari said.

 

Ken shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno. When you think about it, they really are perfect for each other.”

 

As the group fell into discussion over Akihiko and Shinjiro’s newly exposed relationship, the two of them exchanged amused glances. _I don’t care what anyone else thinks. The only thing that matters is how you and I feel. I love you, and I’m looking forward to making up all the time we lost._

 

~~~~

 

Shinjiro let out a heavy sigh as he fell onto the futon. “All right. I guess it was nice seeing the others again, but I’m still glad they’re gone,” he said. “The kid was the only one who wasn’t a total pain in the ass.”

 

“I dunno. It was weird,” Akihiko said. “I guess, for some reason, I was expecting things to still be like they were back in high school. We’ve all changed, though. We’ve all moved on with our lives. I know we all lost our memories for a while, but it’s still like everything that had to do with the Dark Hour really never did happen.”

 

“That such a bad thing?” _I know I’m sure as hell okay with it. Then again, I would’ve been okay with never knowing about the Dark Hour in the first place._ “Pretty sure it was a shitty time for all of us.”

 

“I guess.” He paused. “Do you want coffee?” Before receiving an answer, he moved into the kitchen and started preparing the brew.

 

Shinjiro watched the other curiously. Something was off. So he got up and joined him in the kitchen, coming up behind him to wrap his arms around his waist. Akihiko stiffened before relaxing into his hold. The brunette then kissed his ear lightly. “Okay. What’s on your mind?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“I know you better than that.”

 

He smiled at this. “Like I said…it’s just weird.”

 

He didn’t say anything back. Instead, he just kissed his neck. He heard Akihiko’s breath falter and it only urged him on. So he nipped at his neck and the other let out a low moan. _Fuck. I love the sounds you make. I love knowing I’m the only one who gets to see this side of you._ He then turned Akihiko around and lifted him onto the countertop before capturing his lips in a deep kiss. Fingers curled into his hair, pulling him even closer. So the brunette groaned in the back of his throat, causing the fingers in his hair to tighten.

 

Akihiko then broke away, releasing a hot, shaky breath. “I love you.”

 

Shinjiro smiled in return. “I love you, too. I always have.”

 

He smiled as well. “Who’s the sap now?”

  
He laughed as he moved to step away, but Akihiko grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him back. He pulled him into another kiss, and Shinjiro wasn’t going to argue. So he just reciprocated the kiss.

 

Until, that is, the other began getting impatient. As he always did.

 

“Tell me what you want, Aki,” Shinjiro said against his lips.

 

“I want you.”

 

“You already have me.”

 

“Shut up. You know what I mean.”

 

He smirked at this. “No I don’t. That’s why I want you to tell me.”

 

A deep blush spread across Akihiko’s cheeks. He shifted on the counter before wrapping his limbs around the brunette, clinging to him as he kissed him yet again. _You really do drive me insane; you make me lose control. I don’t wanna hold myself back around you._ Shinjiro then picked the other up and walked him to the futon. Instead of laying Akihiko on this back, though, he sat himself down to put Akihiko on his lap. The other didn’t hesitate to grind his hips down as soon as they were seated, causing Shinjiro to growl. Then Akihiko was chuckling.

 

“What’s so funny, moron?” he spoke up.

 

“Is this the tension you were talking about?” he said.

 

“Told you ignoring each other would be a good idea.”

 

He laughed some more. “Did I mention I love you?”

 

“You did, but it never hurts to hear it again. In which case,” he pulled far enough away to look the other in the eye, “I love you, too.”

 

Akihiko stroked Shinjiro’s cheek before diving into another kiss. The brunette pulled him closer. _We lost a lot of time, even before we lost our memories. Starting from high school to when you picked me up on the side of the road. And I don’t care if I sound like a sap; I can’t wait to spend everyday making up that lost time._


End file.
